


This War Is Ours

by Mikuxmew85



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Apparently I ship JackxKasumi??, Depression, Elunaa is a friend's OC, F/M, I love writing Wrex, Insanity, Minor EDI/Jeff "Joker" Moreau, No Shepard without Vakarian, Or Miranda, Sex, Shakarian Forever, Them Feels, This was literally my first fanfiction ever uploaded, don't care for Kaidan or Ashley, post-ME3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-07 03:32:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12224859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikuxmew85/pseuds/Mikuxmew85
Summary: She was a Shepard. Never once did she shed a tear. She couldn't afford to, not with everything that happened. Never once did she see her life flash before her eyes... Not until she realized she'd never see him again. He thought he was the one that needed her... But she was always the one that needed him...





	1. Chapter 01

**Author's Note:**

> So this was originally on my Fanfiction.net account. It was the first fanfiction that I had ever uploaded and it got decent likes and comments over there. This was posted originally three years ago and my writing has gotten a lot better since then (and that says something cause I still think my writing is shit). Since I have grown as a writer, I have made some changes; small things like grammatical errors, run on sentences, awkward sentence structure, etc. The story will be the same, just some minor changes. I hope that it's still well received here and that you will genuinely let me know what you think about it.
> 
> I hated Mass Effect 3's ending and I honestly wanted to punch whoever had that idea in the face because it was just no good all across the board. So this is a little snippet into what a good ending would look like to me. Cai is my female Shepard and I love her so much, she's so cute. I wish I could upload a picture of her so I could show you all, but that save data went away when my PS3 did the yellow light of death on me. Rest in peace Jak Kevin. My sister (close friend) also plays Mass Effect and her character's name was Elunaa and as a sort of cameo, for lack of a better word, I put Elunaa in here as Cai's sister.
> 
> Anyway, enough with the exposition, I really hope you enjoy it. :)

_When you're staring death in the face, your life flashes before your eyes._

 

Cai Shepard had never believed that sentence before. This was due mostly to her greeting Death every day, like an old friend. The tarnished and chipped N7 dog tags around her neck should be proof on how much she had been through. Atop the catalyst, she stood at her end realizing how far she had come through her years. She had survived that attack on Mindoir from the slavers, losing her parents at a young age and believing for many years that her sister Elunaa had perished along with them. Even through all that, her life had never flashed before her eyes and never once did she shed a tear. She had believed that her family wouldn't want her to cry. She could have sworn that she heard her mother's voice in her ear whispering to her while she stay cooped up in a cargo container:

_Cai, be strong, My Child._

She still couldn't recall how many days had passed before she was found and rescued by an Alliance Military soldier called down to Mindoir in order to clean up the dead bodies and wreckage. Her only goal had been from then on to join the Alliance Military to hopefully save people like that man had saved her. After joining a few years later officially, Cai had earned the clearance to learn that her sister had survived and had taken refuge on Earth as an orphan.

_It must run in the family_ Cai remembered thinking upon hearing about her sister having joined the Alliance Military as well.

Despite this coincidence, the Shepard sisters' service had never been run-of-the-mill. Elunaa found herself in the midst of the Skyllian Blitz where she had rallied the colonists against the invaders, sealing the breach single-handedly when they had broken through the colony's defenses. While Cai found herself with the horrid memory of Akuze on her mission history. No matter how hard she had tried, she couldn't forget that? Who could? Her whole entire unit had been wiped out by a thresher maw. She was the only one who had returned, but, never once did Commander Shepard shed a tear. Not when Ashley decided to stay on Virmire, Kaiden deciding to be by her side in the end. Not when Legion died at the Collector base. Not when her crew was processed to power a Reaper, and not even when she evacuated Earth and hundreds died right in front of her eyes.

That isn't to say that it didn't weigh heavily on her heart, that it didn't haunt her while she slept. She had nightmares almost every night of the choices she had made. The  _what if's_ were enough to make anyone go inside, constantly screaming in her head over and over again. Could she have saved them all? What changes could she have made? Would it have made a difference? In the silence of her cabin, she had berated herself over and over. Some hero she was... During the nightmares, they called. Those that had died, those that had sacrificed themselves. Some of these shades she was sure her guilt had created just to torment her more. Then there was that child on Earth that had ran from her and that she had watched die. She ran so slow in those dreams, running to give them help. She hoped at least in her dream, she might be able to help that child, help someone... just to alleviate some of the soul-crushing guilt... to no avail.

_Shepard!_

_Help me!_

_...I'm proud to have been under your command._

_Don't worry, it'll be okay._

_You're a good kid. I'm proud of you._

 

 

It had been like trying to run in waist-high water, no matter how fast she tried to move she hadn't even been able to help the shades of her mind.

Shepard blinked and the world came back into focus. Having realized that she had been in her thoughts this whole time, the guilt set in once more, remembering everything and feeling the harsh sting of the old wounds opening up in her psyche. Her blue eyes darted around the space that she had been standing on; atop the Citadel, right... it was like the control base for the whole entire place. Ironic that this "Catalyst" that they had been searching for this whole time had been right under their noses. Her choices were still splayed in front of her. One choice and the cycle with the Reapers would be broken... but one choice and the galaxy would change forever. She could save, or destroy, the lives that were fighting this war.

Control. Synthesis. Destroy. Three simple words that one might use relatively frequent in their lives. Now, these three simple words were heavier than anything she had ever known.

If she chose "control" she would be dead and all of her knowledge would be collectively gathered into the Reaper's knowledge. She wouldn't be aware of herself, have no feelings, or anything. Commander Cai Shepard would be truly dead. Yet, there was so much knowledge to be shared and gained in the Reapers-the Illusive Man had been right about  _that_. Was that even her choice to make though? The Reapers had taken so much from so many families, so would it be right to let them "live" and be controlled when so many families and planets perished because of them? When a whole entire  _species_ was annihilated from them? No. Cai knew she couldn't do that. Knowledge or no. That was against her morals and it was a slap in the face to those valiant soldiers who had died to give her the chance to make it this far. Like Anderson...

Like Anderson...

He had sat in his final moments, staring at Earth's beauty with that gaping wound in his abdomen. Shepard had wondered whether he was too far gone to feel pain, or if he was just coming to terms with his inevitable death? There had been a serene smile on his face, remaining even after he drew his final breath. It was like he knew everything was going to be okay. Now, Anderson would never get to see his hometown rebuild... and it was all her fault. He would never get to show her London like he wanted. Yes, she knew that she was controlled, but at the same time, it was also her finger that had pulled the trigger. She had dropped the gun like it was on fire. Now with that same gun... perhaps she could do some good. She could make sure that there was a chance for London to be restored back to its former glory.

In front of her, Cai had the option to merge synthetics and organics together. Synthetics would gain an understanding from the organics, while the organics would be able to use the technology to make their lives easier. This seemed like a good option, it seemed symbiotic in a way. Shaking, she took a step forward before freezing. Creating an alternate DNA? Images flashed in her mind of those people on the battlefield. Species and race didn't matter-humans, Asari, Turian, Quarian, Korgan-fighting for their lives and everyone else's around them without thoughts of racism and hatred.

_If I did this... those people wouldn't be themselves anymore._ Cai thought with a rock like weight plunging into her stomach.  _One left..._

She turned her broken and bloody body to the right, seeing her final choice. Her vision was fading quickly and she knew she had a limited amount of time in order to make her choice. Destroy. She needed to get there. Now. Dragging her leg after her as she hobbled towards her choice, her mind began to wander. It felt like time was slowing down, her mind filled with images of her comrades... the idiot comments they made... the stupid fights they got into... the laughs they had at each other's expense. Different races and species of aliens that had found a common goal to work against, saving the galaxy for  _all._ When she thought of this, something happened that had never happened before. Her chest tightened and a stinging sensation pierced behind her eyes. For a moment, she didn't know what was happening; was she losing more of her vision? She could hardly see as it was. Then it dawned on her and she held back the choking feeling.

_Not here... Not now._ She begged herself. Keeping her eyes forward, she continued to limp. Voices played in her mind, images of the faces following.

The Assassin

_This disease is going to kill me... I want to be able to see my son before then..._

The Asari Commando

_It's my duty to protect my children... and I failed._

The Cerberus Cheerleader

_I was genetically enhanced to be perfect, but that doesn't make me any less human._

The Tank-Bred Krogan

_When do we get to bash some heads?_

The Quarian Mechanic

_Keelah Se'lai. Having the name 'Normandy' added to my name was supposed to be a mark of shame. But, I wear it as a badge of pride. I am proud to be Tali'Zorah vas Normandy._

The Unshackled AI

_That was a joke._

The Brittle-Boned Pilot

_You know what I could go for right now? A hamburger. Not vat-grown. An honest-to-god dead cow. With horseradish._

The Scientist Salarian

_I would've liked to have studied those seashells._

The Master Thief

_Shepard, you should wear a dress more often_

Subject Zero

_Teaching these kids gives me something to live for._

The Mercenary

_You've got some quads, Princess_

The Biotic

_L2 Implants may be outdated, but I wouldn't upgrade for anything_

The Soldier

_I have... a sister back on Earth_

The Conscious Geth

_Shepard-Commander, we will trust you_

The Asari Scientist

_Shepard... I want you to know that no matter what happens, I'm proud to have served with you._

The Lieutenant

_Damn... this gig gets weirder and weirder_

The Uncertain Cerberus Operative

_Good deed's like pissing yourself in dark pants. Warm feeling but no one notices._

The Second Shepard

_Cai... Come back alive. I want to have half Turian nieces or nephews._

Cai looked at her target and shakily lifted her pistol. This same pistol that she had used to kill Anderson. This last time, it would be used for good. Her body's strength was failing as she could barely lift her arm. With each breath, Cai could hear her blood dripping onto the floor beneath her.

_It's now or never..._ The shot rang out and hurt her ears. Never before had a gunshot sounded so deafening. She heard the slight  _crack_ of glass breaking, knowing she had hit her target. She would destroy them. A small bout of strength filled her and she once again began limping towards her target. One more voice entered her head.

The Turian Rebel.  _Her_ Turian Rebel. The Archangel.  _Her_ Archangel.

_Shepard... I mean Cai... Is that really you?_

Another crack when the trigger was pulled.

_It would take a lot more than a rocket to bring me down._

Her strength once again began to leave her, the gun becoming heavier than she knew it was.

_Are you a one Turian kind of woman?_

Again.

_There's no Shepard without Vakarian._

Again.

_After this, we can retreat somewhere nice and warm, by the beach. Maybe find out what a Human-Turian baby looks like?_

With one more shot, she knew it would all be over. Done. For the first time since she had joined the Alliance Military, she struggled to pull the trigger. If she didn't everyone would die, if she did... she'd never be able to hear his voice again. She wouldn't be able to feel his hand against her skin, hear his voice in her ear, hear him whisper shyly  _Morning Cai_ in her ear when he woke up. She knew it had to be done. She knew that she had to pull it. This wasn't about her. This was about the galaxy. Cai closed her eyes, her chest tightening to a painful degree, almost like she was having a heart attack. For the first time since she could ever recall, a tear fell down her cheek.

_I'm sorry..._

Just as the tear dripped from her face, she pulled the trigger one last time. His voice echoed in her head for the last time before the shot rang out and her world went black.

_Shepard-no. Cai. I... I love you._

 


	2. Chapter 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minutes had passed and there was still no sign of her... She was their faith, their friend, family, and love. If she was gone, how were they supposed to live without her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wanted to give a big shout out to Becky for commenting on the first chapter. I'm really glad that you liked it and will continue to like it.
> 
> I forgot to mention earlier that "This War Is Ours" is a song title from the band Escape the Fate with the same name... it fits really well so I was like, "yeah, this is the perfect name". So, credit goes to them for that awesome song.
> 
> Tibia honest (shameless bone pun here), I can't really think of anything else to say, so please enjoy this chapter.

"Jeff, we must go." EDI said, her robotic voice echoing against the walls of the bridge, melding with the sound of Joker's fingers rapidly tapping on the monitors in his face. He said nothing in response, EDI had said what they all knew. None of them had the heart-or guts-to say it though. They had stayed but were unable to see any signs of Shepard, or anyone else, coming from the rendezvous point. Despite this, Joker didn't move. His hands were twitching, internally debating leaving and staying. Even though they were quiet, tension filled the air on the bridge of the Normandy. Vega fidgeted white watching, his fists were balled so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. Liara's eyes were locked on the rendezvous point, desperation reflecting in them. Tali looked like she was holding her breath waiting for her best friend. Even Elunaa was silent, which was something that never happened.

Nothing.

_Please Spirits, let her come out of this..._ Garrus prayed, staring out of the glass on the bridge. Again, nothing. He  _never_ prayed. Why would he have a reason to when he had everything that he ever needed or wanted by his side? The more that he stared and the less of her that he saw, his hope drained more and more. He remembered what  _she_ had said. She had said "forever". She had said "always". Had he known that "forever" and "always" would have come so soon, he would've done everything to keep her from going by herself, or at all. He would've kept her closer, held onto her tighter. He would've told her more how much he loved her. He would've danced more with her (even though she was terrible at it), taken her on more date... told her more how beautiful she was... how perfect. Garrus felt a pain in his chest and the familiar sensation of tears coming to his eyes. When he had heard Shepard had died, that had been all he had done for days; cry. Garrus had thought that he would never feel that way again. Now here he was. There was no time where this was okay, it would always be too soon for Cai to leave him. Garrus chanced a look at Joker, seeing the defeat creep up in his eyes was more fatal than a gunshot wound.

_Please... no... Just a little longer._

Joker's sigh of defeat was another shot to the heart. Was he really going to do it? Surely Joker wouldn't. His voice was soft and distant when he spoke, belaying the fact that this was hurting him as well.

"Fine..." Everyone around him looked shocked. Shepard had never left them behind, and now they were going to leave her? Garrus was trying to wrap his around the situation. This had to be a bad dream, it  _had_ to be. He would wake up and be in bed with Shepard in his arms. Right...? But no matter how much he blinked and no matter how much he tried to regulate his breathing, he wasn't waking up. This was his reality. It was only going to get worse for them.

In the years since Eden Prime, Garrus had heard many explosions, but none had ever turned his blood cold and shake him to the core as much as this one did. The rendezvous point was quickly being consumed by flames. If anyone had tried to even approach those flames, they would be incinerated to a crisp within seconds.

"Now!" EDI demanded. "If we do not leave now, we will not be able to at all!"

"We can't just leave her here!" Elunaa yelled. Garrus wasn't sure if she was yelling at Joker or EDI or just in general. Any seemed like a good bet, but Vega was holding her back from doing anything stupid and her eyes just stared at the flames. Garrus was sure that if Vega wasn't holding onto Elunaa, Joker would've gotten more than an earful from her.

"We don't have a choice!" Joker yelled back at her, preparing the Normandy for take off. They all knew that Joker didn't really want to leave Shepard, but it didn't make the situation any better. They were, in fact, leaving her. "Shit..." He whispered, the Normandy leaving its spot and suddenly being thrown off around by the force of an orange shockwave. "Shit!" Joker steadied the Normandy and kicked it into full drive. Whatever that orange wave was, it didn't look too friendly. He was sure that if this was a different situation, he would've heard laughter.

_"You've earned your star once more, Garrus"._ Remembering the sound of her voice only sent more chills of sadness and now guilt running through his veins. Her voice had been so strong and soft when she would tease him. Cai always used to say that she should give him a gold star to prove his position as  _'Captain Obvious'._

The Normandy was barely outrunning the foreign shock wave. It was destroying the Reapers like they were an average enemy. The more that Garrus watched, he noticed that synthetics were the only beings that were being destroyed by this wave. They all bent and fell under the force of this... thing. Even if Cai had somehow survived the fire, she was part synthetic. She would have been at the origin point, there was no way she could've escaped from this orange wave of decimation. He knew that if a Turian's face could pale, his face would've been devoid of blood. A desperate hope clung into his heart that somehow Shepard would have made it. This was  _Cai Shepard_ after all. She had defeated the collectors, survived a suicide mission, defeated Saren, and had defeated a Reaper single-handedly. There wasn't anything that could keep her down. She had always defeated the odds no matter what was thrown at her. Yet, as the Normandy shook from the power of the wave that was now hot on its tail, he realized just how fleeting that hope was. If there was anything that Garrus didn't want to face, it was the reality of the situation that they were now in. Cai... She wasn't coming back... Even for her. She was Cai Shepard, but she was still a mortal.

_"If I don't make it out of this, I just want you to know this. I love you, Garrus. I always will"._ These words rang repeatedly in his mind, like a demented mantra. Those were the last words that he heard from her, the last ones he would  _ever_ hear. Why did it all have to fall on her shoulders? Why did she  _let_ it all fall on her shoulders? Why didn't she ask for help? It wasn't like she didn't have people there that would help her. She had a sister. She had friends.  _She had me..._

"Hold on!" Joker's scream caused Garrus to break out of his reverie. The shockwave was nipping at the Normandy's tail causing the ship to shake from the pressure. If they had any other pilot, they would've been dead long ago. They wouldn't have been able to even see the other side of the Omega 4 relay. Garrus stumbled from the waves of pressure overtaking the ship and gripped onto Joker's chair to try and keep him stable. Crew members were grabbing onto anything that they could to keep them steady. Terrified screams rang through the air in the ship, while EDI stood there unphased and unmoving. Of course, that was to be expected.

Just as quickly as the wave had appeared, it had stopped. The galaxy was as black and starry as ever, a spinning nebula of stars seeming to overtake them. Joker exhaled and leaned back in his chair. Garrus had to look away when EDI put her hand on Joker's shoulder and they exchanged a soft and meaningful glance. Friends and workers looked at each other to make sure that everyone was okay and alive, that all limbs were in their correct places. Cheers of the crew members filled the once silent area, but the small group of comrades couldn't share in the cheer that they others had. Garrus stared at them, jealous of their ability to be happy and cheer. 

_"We lost something more than a_ Commander _. A sister, a friend, a confidant, a shoulder to cry on... A lover."_ Garrus looked at his hands. He thought about the question that he was going to ask when this was all over.  _When_ they made it out of this. Not if.  _When._ He thought about how he would hold her hand and put the ring on it. He had thought about how she would look in white with a smile on her face... she was his and his alone. His only. No one would be able to even hold a portion of his heart ever again. He had thought that he would hear her in front of her friends and family.

_"I love you, Garrus."_

"...Keelah..." Tali spoke, breaking the silence between the friends. She was looking down and had a helmet on her hand. Her speaking seemed to give the others the green light that they could speak.

"What was that?" Liara asked as the Normandy coasted through space, having no real destination at the moment. They just needed to sort everything out.

"Not sure, but whatever it was..." Joker began, disbelief in his words. Everyone looked at what he was staring at. It looked like a Mass Relay, but... destroyed. "It destroyed even the Mass Relays." Garrus couldn't believe his eyes, those relays had been there for so long, they seemed as impenetrable as the Citadel itself, but here they were; in ruins.

"I didn't even think that was possible..." Elunaa spoke, her voice somewhere between shock and hopelessness.

Garrus stood there and listened to the others talk. No one asked him for his opinion, and for that, he was thankful. He wasn't sure what he would say-or scream-if he was asked anything. Or there was the off chance that he wouldn't be able to say anything at all. Their whole world had changed in just a matter of five or ten minutes. The voices of the others had droned into a hum and he was unable to understand anything that they were saying. Honestly, he didn't care. He was focused on Cai's voice playing in his head. It was like those records that they played back on Earth in the 1960's.  _Like a broken record_ he believed the saying was.

_"No no no no, I can't dance!"_

_"I love you, Garrus Vakarian."_

_"I've woke up with a Turian next to me."_

_"There's no Shepard without Vakarian."_

_"Get him out of here!"_

_"I love you, Garrus. I always will..."_

Garrus was once more pulled from his thoughts by his friends conversing on the bridge. It seemed like they were debating the pros and cons of landing somewhere. He was sure the Normandy did need repairs as Joker pointed out, but Liara's question whether it was wise or not seemed to give everyone moment of caution. After all, an unknown force had just completely exploded all of the Mass Relays. It wasn't a place that they had been before, so caution was always wise, but, Joker just had to stick his foot in his mouth.

"Why not set her down where we know nothing is going to be ready to kill us?" His tone was joking, and at once he realized his mistake. Garrus turned around and went from the bridge. It seemed like there was one person too many, and as he left no one tried to stop him. His friends looked at him with apologetic looks on their faces, crew members were talking amongst themselves, moving out of his way. He just wanted to be left alone for now. Hell, maybe forever. He got in the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor and waited. Every time he was in an elevator, he remembered when they all first met each other. The conversations that they had in the elevators on the Citadel could be anywhere from suggestive to aggressive. Sometimes Cai looked like she was on the verge of saying  _"Don't make me send you back to the ship!"._ The more he remembered, the more he hated himself. When the elevator opened and he stepped out, he stood at the door

When the elevator opened and he stepped out, he stood at the door. Garrus had been to Cai's personal cabin many times before. Sometimes it was to chat, other times to... not. Now, it felt foreign for him to be there like he didn't belong. Yet, at the same time, if anyone was to be allowed in the cabin, he believed it should be him. He stared at the door and almost expected Cai to open it and be shocked he was standing there. This thought only made him choke back tears again. With a shaking hand, he reached up and opened the door. He watched it open with a normal slide and displaying Cai's room to him. He walked in and looked around the room. Just a few hours ago, Cai had been roaming around in here. In just a matter of hours, so much had changed, but this cabin stayed the same. It was like a museum  _or a memorial._ Garrus choked at the word  _memorial_ his mind had conjured up, but that was the only correct word he could think of. He looked to the table where her hamster ran in its wheel without a care in the world and on the wall where her fish swam in their tank. Neither realizing that their master was gone and was never going to return. He stared at the fish remembering when he had made fun of Cai for not being able to keep her fish alive for more than a week because she always forgot to feed them. To rectify that, he had found an automatic fish feeder on the Citadel and bought it for her for her birthday since she had  _insisted_ on keeping fish in her cabin. He had stood in front of her putting a hand on her cheek and leaned down to kiss her. He had been so nervous around her, of course, he always was. It had worried him that she would change her mind about them and break it off with him. Perhaps she would've found it disgusting to kiss a Turian, after all, there weren't many interspecies relationships. She never did though, nor did she hide the fact that they were together. No matter how much time had passed, he was still nervous about being with her. He probably always would be. Everything in the cabin seemed to have a memory attached to it. In the glass display case above her computer, she kept models of ships. Garrus had found and bought some models for her. He didn't care how many credits he was spending on what Vega called "trivial items". All he cared about was having her look up at him with those bright blue eyes, smile, and say,

_"Thank you Garrus! I love it"._ He was not the only one who had bought her models. After seeing her love for them, Tali had bought her one. Liara did as well. In fact, the more he looked at her belongings, the more he realized that most of her possessions in the cabin were gifts to her from someone. Really, the only things that Cai had gotten herself were her armor, her computer, her bedding, and her alarm clock. Sighing, he looked at her desk. The computer was still on and data pads littered the desk. This was the cabin of someone who had every intention of returning, now it became a place that simply felt cold and empty. His eyes traveled to the bed where many conversations had been held, unmade as always. He had heard many excuses from her when she was confronted about why a Commander didn't make her bed.  _"Didn't have the time"_ was one excuse.  _"Why make it when I'm just going to get back in it later?"_ was another. Although, Garrus' personal favorite was  _"Someone always comes up here and we'll just end up making the bed messy again, so what's the point?"_. Thinking about it even now gave him a sense of pride as well as a well-hidden blush on his face. As if possessed, he walked passed the desk, letting his claw skim across the edge and went to stand next to the bed. The bed that she had called  _our bed_. Garrus remembered the exact moment that she had said that. He had stood there shocked, his mandibles flaring slightly in shock, embarrassment, and admittedly some arousal. While she had a smile on her face, he had reached out and held her hand lacing their fingers together. Now, looking at that bed made him want to cry.

Despite this, he crawled into  _their_ bed and laid his head down on the pillow that she had deemed his. He laid there, trying to mimic what this would be like if she was there. To try and let his shattered mind regain some sanity, but it was no use. His eyes just stared ahead where Cai would be, forcing his breathing to become even and pushing back the now ever-present tears that threatened to escape. Staring at the empty spot that held Cai during the night, his mind wandered to the first time he was able to hold her in their bed, the first night after he had partaken in her delicious body.  He remembered it like it was yesterday. Her chest had risen and fallen so gently. Looking at her, you wouldn't realize how revered she was, how much her crew respected her and would follow her into the deepest pits of Hell just because she asked. In that moment she was just Cai. _His_ Cai. She wasn't a Shepard. He wasn't her subordinate, she wasn't his commander. They were just a human and a Turian in love. During that first night, she had shivered in her sleep. He couldn't help but notice how vulnerable she had looked. Slowly and gently, he had pulled the covers over her shoulders. She had stopped shivering and her lips had curved into a relaxed smile.  _"Garrus"_ she had whispered in an exhale. For a moment, he had thought she was awake. When he realized she was still asleep, it had hit him. This woman. This  _human_ woman. This beacon of hope for the whole galaxy had said  _his_ name. Out of all the people; Human, Asari, Quarian, Turian, or anyone else; she had said  _his_ name. Perhaps... she did love him as much as he loved her.

During his thoughts, he had closed his eyes and pulled Cai's pillow close to him in a vain attempt to make his mind believe that it  _was_ her he was holding. However, it was futile. All he had were those memories and that pillow felt nothing like her. He'd touched humans before, whether it was to help them up on the battlefield, to give them a clasp on the shoulder, or even a handshake. Never before had a human's skin felt so soft as her's did. That pillow didn't have the soft feel that she did when it touched his mandibles. He tried his hardest to conjure the vision of her hand caressing his face, but once again, it was no use. Nothing could even feel close to her. It didn't have the curves that she did. The curves that Carrus held when they danced, when he hugged her, when he held her while she slept, when they kissed, when she needed comfort, or just because he could. This pillow didn't have the soft breathing that he would hear and feel as she slept with her body pressed against his. The breathing that was able to send shivers down his spine, making his heart race. The only thing this pillow had was her scent... and even that would fade with time, then he would be left with nothing.

_For now, that's the only thing I have left of her... The only thing I can keep and hold onto._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -claps hands together- Alright! So there's chapter two. Apparently on this chapter when I uploaded it on fanfiction.net it made someone cry. I felt bad in a way, but then I also felt like "damn alright, maybe that's a good thing?". Basically what I'm saying is that I hope it gave you some feels, because I remember when I was writing it about 3 years ago that was my goal was to give everyone feels.
> 
> The next chapter will be coming up soon, so leave comments or kudos if you'd like. Have a great day/night!


	3. Chapter 03

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard did it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we are again. Chapter 03. This one is a relatively short chapter as it was meant to bridge the gap in the story to continue along instead of just jumping into it.
> 
> Shoutout to Shaaz for the bookmark (my first bookmark ever). Thank you for enjoying this and wanting to see it through. Thank you, Becky for the comment that you left for me.
> 
> Alright! Here we go~!

A sharp pain. A gasp. Her eyes opened quickly and looked around. Shepard felt like her lungs were on fire and with every breath, she felt the pain growing. Her eyes darted around in an attempt to find something,  _anything_ to see. Nothing. The darkness around her was thick, murky, impenetrable. There was no getting away from it and when she closed her eyes, it felt like everything was closing in around her. Moving her arms and legs was futile as she couldn't get them high enough to even raise a disturbance. Was there anyone even around to help her? Was she even alive or was this one of those things where you don't realize that you're dead? Cai closed her eyes again, trying to regulate her frantic breathing and calm her pounding heart. She tried to remember the last thing that had happened. She had destroyed all the Reapers, and been knocked unconscious. With her world coming into focus and her pounding headache giving her reassurance that she was, in fact, alive she was able to start thinking rationally.

_Where am I? Why can't I move?_ Rationally. Right. All she had to do was be calm and the questions could come naturally and with questions, answers would soon follow. Trying again to move her body proved just as futile as the first time, if not more.  _Shit..._ A headache ripped through her temples, stinging her frontal lobe. With the pain in her head, the inferno in her lungs increased as well. Cai was starting to get tired and all she wanted to do was lay her head down, close her eyes, and fall asleep. If she did though, would she wake up? The harsh reality of the situation was that wherever she was, she was slowly suffocating. Better to have been blown up and have it all happen at one time than lay... wherever the hell  _here_ was and suffocate to death.  _Dammit..._

Hours had passed and the silence was just as thick and menacing as the dark. The continued pain and lack of oxygen were lulling her into a slumber, which she knew would end up being her last. Suffocating wasn't so bad as everyone thought. All she would end up doing is closing her eyes and end up falling asleep. Passing in their sleep was the one way most humans wanted to go. Sighing and laying her head back, Cai was resigning herself to her fate, but there was a hum that wouldn't let her. Almost like the sound of a fly buzzing right by your ear, but a muffled fly. If she could've moved her arms, she would've swatted at it. It was annoying and aggravating her. The droning had become more prevalent and she realized that it was a voice.

"I want to believe it as much as the next person, but we have to face reality here... even if it is a harsh one." Trying to put a face to the voice make her already oxygen-deprived brain beg for her to stop using it. What was the use? No one was looking for her... all she would end up doing is falling asleep and fading into people's memories. Some would even forget her, and that would be okay too... Despite this morbid thinking, a name popped into her head;  _Kasumi_. All the impulses in her mind seemed to fire at once sending images slamming into her. Eden Prime, the beacon, getting control of the Normandy, becoming the first Human Spectre, being reunited with Elunaa, taking down Saren. Dying and being rebuilt by Cerberus (there was one for the history books), discovering the Reapers.  _Reapers..._ The war, leaving Earth, gathering the galaxy, coming back, fighting, the child, the choice, sending Garrus to get medical aid.  _Garrus!_ Her breathing became frantic. There  _were_ people looking for her.  _Her_ people. Her  _friends._ Her  _lover._ She became desperate, despite her body begging for her to stop. When she tried to call out to Kasumi, nothing came out. It seemed there wasn't enough oxygen to let her form the words, and her panicking didn't help.

"Reality? Shepard has never been confined to the realm of  _reality_." The other voice that she heard; Samara. Even though they were supposed to be gone, it seemed that they had stayed behind to look for her. Shepard used all the force that remained in her body to call out for her friends, but only a tiny desperate crackle of a sound came from her parted lips. There was no telling if it made it to their ears or not.

"Just fucking look! Goddammit, after everything that she's done is it so hard to do that?!" Jack screamed. Cai had never heard her sound like this before. Sounds of things flipping and crashing were around her. "Even if she is... I have to know. I have to be sure." Cai struggled again, forcing the pain to the back of her mind. No sounds or footsteps could be heard now and she felt defeated. Sinking back into her pit of despair, tears began to gather in her eyes. If they had left, there really _was_ no getting out of here. They had been there, and now they were gone. She had been so close. Dying wasn't the part that worried her. She had already died before, what was another time? What tore at her soul was the thought of never seeing Garrus again. Of him never knowing that she had survived and that she was thinking of him at this very moment.

"...You're right." Kasumi spoke again. Cai exhaled and laid her head back. They were still there, and that meant that there was still time for her to get their attention. Through the years, they had entrusted their lives to her. Now, it was her turn to entrust her life to them. That would find her... she just knew it. She parted her lips, focusing on trying to utter a sound that wasn't so pitiful, but she was cut off by a deep voice.

"I heard something over there." It was Grunt's voice. The movement stopped again, but the voices kept on going.

"You sure?"

"A Krogan's ears are never wrong."

"...You don't even  _have_ ears." Kasumi said.

"... Watch it." This time it was Wrex who had spoken.

The sounds of the footsteps got closer and closer. Cai closed her eyes and exhaled again. Hopefully, they would figure out where she was. Maybe if she kept moving, Grunt would be able to hear her again so that she could escape. Nothing happened when she commanded her body to move, she was so weak. It was up to them. The next time a voice was heard, the sound of a rock had fallen close to her head. Were they standing on top of her?!

"I feel the presence of a Human underneath this rubble." She was under rubble?! How many pounds did she have to be under if she was losing this much oxygen? Her hearing was hyper-aware now and some footsteps were heard along with small rocks falling down.

"Shit..." Jack cursed. Apparently, they  _had_ been standing on her. "Samara, help me here!" The strange wave sounds of biotics filled the air, distorting the space around them. With every sound, more rubble was moved. The air became fresher. More pressure left her chest, and grunting could be heard. Whether it was with biotics or brute force, her friends were trying to save her. She gasped in, coughing and taking in the fresh air. Light penetrated her eyes from Omni-tool flashlights. It was hard for Cai to see her companions, but she made out five different people. One of her companions-she couldn't tell which seemed to notice the brightness of the lights and put them out.

When she stopped seeing dots and stars all in her vision, she saw ten eyes looking at her, each face marked with the same expression; disbelief and slight amusement. There was so much that she wanted to say to them, but with how raw and potentially damaged her vocal cords were, nothing came out.

"I've said it before, and I'll say it again," Wrex said, offering a hand to help her up which Cai took. "You've got some quads, Princess." The world beneath her feet felt unsteady and she collapsed almost as soon as she stood, thankfully Wrex and Kasumi had kept her steady.

The sunlight broke through the horizon, shining down on Earth. She wasn't sure how many years it would take to rebuild all that the Reapers had taken or destroyed. However, the point was that it could happen now. No. It  _would_ happen. Now that the Reapers were gone and the cycle was truly broken, the could continue to grow, repair, and live without the threat of being annihilated. Even Cai herself didn't know what she would do now that she was free of the Reaper threat and the responsibility that entailed. Now she had a choice. That was the most import thing... she could now  _choose_ what to do with the rest of her life. There was no living minute to minute or even second to second. It had been a  _long_ time since she had been able to say that.

_We did it, Anderson... London and Earth are still here, and they're both beautiful. Rest in peace._

"I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it," Kasumi said, her voice low in disbelief.

"Goddammit Cai, isn't there anything that can keep you down?" Jack laughed. Actually  _laughed_. That was another one for the history books.

"Right now, Cai needs medical attention. We can converse later. Let us get her to the med bay." Samara's choice of reason broke through the reunion. With everyone's help in one way or another, she was making it to the medical bay that was treating the wounded soldiers. The wounded soldiers that weren't in the bay whispered among themselves that their hero Shepard had survived. If she could speak, she would've told them that  _they_ were the real heroes.  _They_ were the reason she was able to make it as far as she did. She really wanted to thank  _them_. Her heroes. Her mind wandered back to the friends that were on the Normandy. She wanted to know, but...

_I'm scared to know..._

"The Normandy made it out fine." Grunt assured her as if reading her mind. Cai's head fell in relief and she couldn't hide the smile that came to her lips nor the tears that came to her eyes.

_They're fine... They made it out okay..._

"You'll be back with that Turian boyfriend of yours in no time," Wrex said and gave Cai's back his version of a comforting smack, but almost made her fall over and pain radiate through every nerve of her body. It was like getting hit by a freight train. "Oops..."

"Watch what you're doing!" Jack exclaimed.

"I said 'oops'!" Wrex protested.

The walk to the medical bay seemed to take years, and each step was slower than the last. Cai had to stop many times to get some of that sweet fresh air into her lungs, but eventually, she and her entourage made it who was now carrying her by this time. At once, she was taken to rest and to begin getting treated. The nurses and doctors were now muttering among themselves about how Shepard had  _made it through another one_. She looked at her friends and parted her lips, mouthing ' _thanks'_ to them. The tension was relieved from her body and her eyes closed. She knew that she was in good hands and it was alright to sleep. They would take good care of her, she entrusted her life to them, and they hadn't let her down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for Chapter 03! Like I said, I'm sorry that it was a rather short chapter compared to the two previous ones, but things will be longer later and I hope this doesn't bar any of you from wanting to continue following the story.
> 
> Have a great day/night and leave some kudos and comments if you like! They're always appreciated.


	4. Chapter 04

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had prayed, but all he was met with was her memorial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here we are with Chapter 04. I hope that you all enjoy it. (I also want to apologize for my really shitty summaries in advance before anyone tells me that they are).
> 
> Another shoutout to Shaaz who gave me the most beautiful and heartfelt comment. Thank you so much Shaaz. I really hope you enjoy this.

Sometime during the night, Garrus had found the comforting slumber of oblivion. Slowly, his eyes opened with his arm around something soft. His tired eyes looked over and in the dim light of the cabin saw the familiar form sleeping next to him. With a flutter of his mandibles, a relieved sigh had escaped from his mouth. It had all been a dream. Cai was right here by his side, just like she always had been. Smiling, he leaned up blinking the haze from his brain. Every moment that it dimmed, he came back to the real world. In an instant, his illusion crashed. He remembered Cai was gone. For good this time. The haze his brain had been wrapped in had changed her pillow into her familiar sleeping form. It was a sick trick for his mind to play on him. As if it was burning him, he took his arm from around the pillow. He sat up, unable to be that close to her scent any longer. What he had once found comforting, at that moment, he felt suffocated by. Tears gathered in his eyes, his hand clenched into a fist and slammed against the nightstand shaking the alarm clock with the force of a tidal wave. He knew it wasn't fair to take his anger and grief out on the small table next to him, but he couldn't help it. The tears fell from his eyes and down his face in a river of sadness. He didn't care that his face or her blanket was now soaked and continued to hit the table each hit harder than the one preceding it. Despite his lean frame, Garrus was a rather strong Turian. When he heard the crack, his hand and tears stopped instantly. Carefully, he lifted his fist from the table and saw a hairline crack from the middle of the table leading outwards. Inwardly thanking his excellent hearing, he sighed. One more hit and it would have broke. He didn't know what he would've done had that have happened. Cai's belongings meant the world to him, and in his rage and grief, he had almost destroyed something he'd never be able to get back. Yes, he could have bought another table to replace it, but it wouldn't be same and he knew it. Looking over at the wall, the fish were swimming frantically in their tank as if they knew something was wrong with Garrus.

Sighing, he stood up and stood in the middle of the room, staring at the wall. They had promised,  _vowed_ to retire somewhere warm and tropical together. It was their plan, their  _future._ Their plans of a family and a life together would never come to fruition. That thought brought audible sobs from deep within his soul. Without her, life seemed so dull. As cliche as it sounded, Cai Shepard was the one person that could bring color to everything around him. Before he had met her, he had just been going through the motions in a monochromic world as a regular C-SEC officer. When he met her and saw that color for the first time, he knew that he had to stay by her side no matter what. He  _had_ to have that color. To have  _her._ Without her, he didn't know what to do with himself. Without her, his world was already turning back to gray. He looked at the door that led out of Cai's cabin and then at their bed again. He wanted so desperately to lay back down in it and surround himself in her scent. However, he knew that the longer he stayed in the bed her scent would disappear and be replaced with his. That's one thing he couldn't have. Garrus wanted to keep it locked up for as long as he could to preserve it; the last bit of her that he could hold onto. If he turned around and left, locking the door behind him, would he ever come back up here? Or would he just close the door and lock it behind him, keeping their memories locked away in the room as well as his heart for no one else to see? Debating his choice, EDI's voice came on the personal intercome that Cai's cabin held.

_"Please come to the Combat Information Center as soon as you are able, Mr. Vakarian."_

It was weird enough that EDI had called him in the first place but even weirder that she had used the intercom in Cai's room to do so. Usually, if an announcement was to be made, he would hear her voice all throughout the Normandy. If this was for privacy reasons, he didn't think that an AI could  _have_ an understanding of "privacy". He had finally made his decision, locking up the room seemed like the best thing that he could do. Once he had gotten her pets out of the cabin, it would remain closed, keeping all of who she was inside. It would be the only way to preserve her memory enough to keep himself happy. It wasn't fair to the other members of the team, especially to Elunaa, but frankly, he didn't care. He was being selfish and unreasonable, he knew it. Garrus wasn't stupid. Oblivious and obvious, yes, but not stupid. Elunaa would most likely fight his decision to keep her quarters closed

One last time, his eyes traveled to the bed and he was reminded of the last time they had lain together. Basking in the aftermath, they held each other. His claws trailed up and down the curve of her waist softly and she looked away shyly. Garrus was the only one who had ever gotten to see Cai with her guard down, to see her shy self. It was an honor that she trusted him that much,  _loved_ him that much. Did she even realize what she was doing to him? His hand rested on her hip and when she turned her head and locked eye contact; that was it. The kiss had been one of the most passionate that they had together. It was slow but needy. She had wrapped her arms around his neck and he remembered thinking how desperately he needed her in that moment. All while kissing her, he laid her down beneath him. Parting her legs by the soft flesh on the inner thighs, he looked up at her. Her cheeks were flushed red either from embarrassment or from the heat of the moment. Garrus remembers kissing the space between her neck and shoulder, occasionally giving it a soft bite. He knew her body like a well-read map and with every well-placed bite, a delicious moan was elicited from her just as delicious lips. She had whispered his name so sweetly, so seductively... How could he not give her what she wanted? Garrus had wrapped his arms around her body, holding her while he buried himself deep into her once again. Still sensitive from their first round just a few minutes prior, quakes of pleasure ripped their way down their spines. In a fit of heated passion, Garrus had slammed into her. He had had to hold her by the hips to make sure she didn't hit the wall. At that moment, they were the only two people in the world... no in the whole  _galaxy._ They hadn't broken contact the whole entire time, and when her inner walls had clamped around him like he was so familiar with them doing, he had released inside of her. For the rest of the night, they had laid side by side happy with each other's company and existence.

_"Mr. Vakarian?"_

Garrus had been caught up in his memories and had forgotten that EDI had requested something of him. He cleared his throat and tore his eyes away from the bed. Every step he took towards the door was harder than the last. Garrus looked at the fish and the hamster. He'd be back for them soon enough. He closed Shepard's door behind him and exhaled a shaking sigh. Looking forward was the only thing he could do. When Garrus walked out the elevator at the Combat Information Center, he expected to be met with the memorial wall that held the names of fallen soldiers, but most importantly friends. Miranda Lawson, Ashley Williams, Kaiden Alenko, Mordin Solus, and Thane Krios-to name a few. What he  _hadn't_ expected, however, was to see the teammates gathered around the memorial wall, blocking his vision. Garrus looked at the backs of his friends, his blood turning to ice upon seeing the silver nameplate in Joker's hands. He hoped with every fiber of his being that the name on the plate wasn't the one that he was thinking of. Almost as if he was made of lead, his steps were weighted when he made his way to stand with his friends at the wall. On the memorial wall were new names, others that were lost in the cause, but died bravely. In the middle with high honor was  _Admiral Anderson._ When he stood next to Joker, staring at the wall, Joker handed him the nameplate. Looking down, his breath caught in his throat. He had seen this name so many times, but never in something as final as this. Never  _engraved_ like this. Garrus felt the stinging behind his eyes and her voice in his head, the same way she had introduced herself that day, almost like she was reading the plate:

  _Commander Cai Shepard_

Garrus couldn't swallow, he could barely breathe. He knew they were all watching, their gazes felt hot and piercing against his back. His eyes were glued to the nameplate in his hands. He knew that he had to put it there, under Admiral Anderson's name. A strangled sob came from Elunaa behind him. When he turned to look, she had covered her face with her hands, Liara and Tali were rubbing her back. No amount of comfort could make this okay, and they knew it. His eyes scanned the crowd of somber friends, every one of them was trying to hold back their tears except EDI. He was sure though that if she had the capability, she would be crying as well since she actually looked sad. His thumb stroked the engraved name of the plate. He read it over and over like the name was suddenly going to disappear or morph into something else.

_"I'm just like everyone else. Mortal. I'm nothing to be revered, I'm just a Human."_

Garrus recalled those words all too clearly. She said it, yet... none of them had truly believed it until this moment with the plate in Garrus' hand. She  _was_ mortal. He knew it, he just hadn't  _realized_ it. He wondered if she had found peace, what it was like in Heaven... or wherever. His thumb ran over the three letters that made up her name. So many memories in these three simple letters. So many feelings. His eyes looked passed the nameplate to the spot that awaited its arrival. Garrus knew he had to bring it over there, but at the same time, that would be the last nail in the coffin. He cursed himself for the analogy... it would... it would just make it final. Cai Shepard would be dead. For good this time. Cerberus wasn't there to bring her back. From the explosion, he didn't even know if there was enough of her to bring back. Garrus hated himself for letting the thought cross his brain. His squinted his eyes shut, trying to push the desire to vomit away. He was holding the plate so tightly, he was sure it was going to cut into his hand.

_If she has to rest at all... I want it to be in peace..._

Garrus took a small step to the wall, then another, and another. A strangled, choked cry came from the back of his throat. He hadn't wanted to cry in front of his friends, and that had been the product. With shaking hands, he placed the small nameplate above Admiral Anderson's. He put his hand on the plate and lowered his head, closing his eyes. Little  _drips_ could be heard every time his tear would fall on the floor. His shoulders shook with such intensity, it felt like he was going to break in half. It was final. Cai was gone. Thankfully, no one came to put their hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him. They were all inconsolable. There was no peace of mind to be had. No solace. No one spoke at all, not even the usual niceties of  _it's okay_ or  _she's in a better place_. Facing the truth, everyone said that to try and convince themselves, nothing about this was okay. Nothing could  _ever_ make this  _okay._ While Elunaa would end up taking command of the Normandy, even she knew she could never replace her sister. Nor would she want to. Cai was the last family she had left, now she was alone. When he looked at her, he could tell how lost she was. Elunaa had that same look in her eyes;  _I let her down._ All of them felt that way, he was sure. He knew he did.

"We are here." EDI said. It was the coordinates that they had been flying towards last night. Garrus wasn't sure of what they'd find there. It was somewhere on Earth, and from the preliminary scans that EDI had done, she judged that it was mostly jungle. Sighing, Garrus tore himself from the wall.

_I couldn't protect her. I let myself get hurt and I let her protect me. Her blood is on_ my  _hands. I don't have the right to ask her for forgiveness. If I was there... I might have been able to keep her safe, and if I couldn't... I would've been there with her._

"I'm sorry..." He whispered to Cai almost like she could hear, before heading to the bridge with everyone else. The door to the Normandy opened with its usual  _swoosh._ Joker exited the ship first with EDI at his side in order to keep him steady. One by one, Garrus' companions made it onto the grass outside to stand around Joker. The sun was shining brightly over the mountains, signaling a new and beautiful day. Garrus squinted and shielded his eyes from the bright sun that assaulted them as he tried to adjust to the brightness. Through the fighting, death, and sadness he was finally able to see the  _true_ beauty that was Earth. This beautiful sunlight was something that Ccai wouldn't be able to see even though she was the reason it was here. Garrus looked at the scenery and pictured her standing next to him with that beautiful, rare smile that she had. He was sure he'd be staring at her watching the view then he would  _actually_ be looking at it himself. No doubt she would squeeze his hand and when he'd take her hand and lace their fingers together. No doubt Garrus would get nervous, his mandibles flaring giving him away. She'd smile and touch his scar which would make his heart beat faster. No matter what she did, holding his hand, kissing him, hugging him, smiling at him, or when she would laugh at him for making an obvious statement he would feel his heartbeat race and his pulse quicken. Internally, he felt himself smiling at the thought he had just conjured. He'd done that many times when Cai had died in the Normandy crash. He was sure that he had lost her before he could even tell her how he felt. The only thing that seemed logical at the time was to move to Omega and kill every evil son of a bitch that came after him. His goal was to go out blazing, to die fighting. At least he'd be with her... but she had come back. Garrus couldn't stop himself from begging her for another life, but Cai wasn't a cat. She didn't have nine lives.

_Garrus... please move on._

_How could I move on? You think I could love another...? I'd give anything... for just one more night together._

No other woman could compare to her beauty. Cai's brown hair had darkened over the years, but it would still capture the sunlight and shine brightly. Her bright blue eyes would gleam, just like when he had told her how he felt. Awkwardly albeit. A human. Out of all the Turian women, there were and he had fallen in love with a human. A strong, independent, beautiful, serene, badass, sexy, and let's face it; completely out of his league human. Shockingly, she had felt the same.  _The_ Commander Cai Shepard had fallen in love with him. A simple C-SEC officer. It was the small things he had fallen in love with; like when she would bite her lip when she was deep in thought when she tilted her head to the left when focused, or how terrible she was at remembering to feed her fish. Standing there with him, she would exhale and lay her head the closest her short frame would let her get to his shoulder.

_"I love you, Garrus."_ She'd whisper. But no. It was none of that. He was the only one standing there. Nothing but an illusion summoned next to him in an effort to cope with not having her physically next to him. He looked at the grass under his feet, unable to stare at the beauty of the scenery any longer. It was beautiful, but...

_It would be more beautiful with her beside me... holding my hand._

Garrus imagined what would happen after this. He'd take her with him on a walk while the Normandy was being repaired. They'd talk about what they were going to do with their lives now that this was all over. They'd talk about where they'd live. She wanted to live by the beach, but he couldn't swim. He didn't mind though. Turians were... not the best at swimming, and he was no exception. It would have been enough to sit in the sane and watch the waves and watch her swim with their beautiful baby girl. When he had slipped up talking about him wanting a family with her on the battlefield, his eyes had widened terrified that Cai would think that he was jumping too fast. After all... She would be the one carrying the baby, not him.

_We'll have to see, won't we? After all... There's no Shepard without Vakarian._

With his eyes still on the grass, he continued to dwell on what his life would've been. The same as the life that he could never have. His whole world was turned upside down and inside out. It couldn't be anymore contorted if he had tried to twist it up himself. He knew he could  _never_ love someone as much as he loved Cai, or if he would even be able to fall in love again. What was it again? That term... Humans called that a  _"Soulmate"_ right? He didn't really think much of the term until he had met Cai. To be honest, whenever it was described to him, it seemed awkward and cliche. He knew the true meaning now. With her gone, there was no hope for his love. The vision he had of her with a ring on her finger and a baby in her arms disappeared more with each passing second. He exhaled and heard sounds above him, his eyes traveled upwards to see a group of birds.

"They look peaceful... free even." Garrus gasped and looked down by his side and saw nothing. He looked down. He had been so focused on her, not wanting to forget even the smallest detail of her, that she seemed to be there with him. Maybe he needed to check himself in to see a doctor. He was hallucinating too much. He heard it was possible to die of a broken heart, although many doctors still debated it. He honestly hoped he would and it would claim him quickly, that way he could be by her side sooner. What point was there living without her? Part of him wanted to blame Joker for leaving her, but... he knew that Joker was just doing what he needed to in order to keep them all safe, and in addition what Cai would've really wanted.

"I'm going back inside." Garrus said, not caring if anyone responded or if anyone even heard him. He walked back into the Normandy without another look at his friends, just barely catching his friends' conversation before the door cut it off.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" Liara asked.

"... would you?" Joker asked softly.

Back inside the Normandy, Garrus looked around. The ship seemed all too small and suffocating now. It wasn't like he was alone, the mechanics moved around trying to fix small things on the ship. Without knowing where his feet were even taking him, he let them carry him away. When he realized that he had arrived in the mess hall, he nodded. Right. Food. Maybe food would help him a little. He hadn't eaten in probably... three days. Maybe it could soothe some of his shakings. When he got further in the room though, he felt all the anger bubble up to the surface. He slammed both of his fists on the counter at full force, hearing another crack. Garrus was usually a gentle giant, but his filter to distinguish right and wrong was gone right now. Far,  _far_ gone. He knocked over items on the shelves, kicked a chair, flipped a table, and broke that counter completely. He slammed his fists against another counter and stopped, breaking down and letting his sobs come out full force. Footsteps could be heard and his friends had rushed inside. He turned and held Joker up by his shirt.

"Garrus!" Elunaa screamed while Tali was trying to pull him off and separate them. After all, Garrus could  _literally_ snap Joker's bones.

"It's your fault!" Garrus accused, with tears still in his eyes.

"I didn't want to leave!" Joker said.

"Garrus!" Tali called.

"Then why?!" Garrus yelled, shaking Joker not caring that he grunted in pain.

"We would've all died!"

"Garrus, let go!" Elunaa yelled.

"It's all your fault she's dead!" Garrus yelled.

With the combined effort of Liara, Elunaa, and Tali; Garrus was pried from Joker and EDI made sure none of his bones were broken. The commotion had caused some member of the crew to fetch Dr. Chakwas. Garrus would normally never hurt anyone other than the ones that deserved it; enemies. Unfortunately, right now in Garrus' fragile mental state, he considered Joker an enemy and with how frail Joker really was, that could be fatal. Dr. Chakwas had the others hold him so he couldn't attack Joker again. Soon, the mess hall was surrounded by members of the crew. Surprise marked all faces. Garrus resisted his friend's restraints and tried to attack Joker. The four managed barely to restrain him enough and he broke down crying, which caused Elunaa to cry. Dr. Chakwas had to administer a sedative to calm Garrus down enough. He stopped resisting and was able to be carried to the medical bay. When he was gone, Dr. Chakwas looked at Joker.

"Jeff..." She began, but Joker held up a hand to stop her.

"I know Doc... I know." Joker wouldn't hold it against him. He couldn't. If he was in Garrus' position, he would see him as an enemy too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you enjoyed Chapter 04. Chapter 05 will be up soon and we'll be halfway there. Leave comments or kudos if you'd like. Have a great day/night! :D
> 
> So, side note. I was getting really close to being done with this chapter and then my computer decided to restart thoroughly deleting all the work I had done.


	5. Chapter 05

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She wasn't Commander Shepard without her friends by her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, when I first wrote this on fanfiction.net, I had MAJOR writer's block. I edited it like more than 5 times and for more than 3 hours and still didn't come out with something that I was happy with. I felt really bad putting out a subpar chapter for the people that had followed it. However, those that read it seemed to like it. I'm not sure if they were saying they did because they genuinely did or because they wanted to be nice. To this day, I still don't know, but I still thank them.
> 
> Also, a shoutout to valeria1314151611 :D Thank you so much for the comments and genuine interest in the story.

Cai was swimming in the ocean by her beachside home. She was wading in the shallower parts of the ocean considering she had a little brunette girl, probably about the age of four holding onto her hands. The little girl was screaming from joy, splashing in the water and looking at Cai. When she looked up, she saw Garrus on the beach, waving from the shoreline. He had a beach chair set up near the edge, just close enough to where his feet could hit the water as it came to the shore. She had kissed the top of the little girl's head and she had apparently taken it as a release to go to Garrus. Cai had watched as Garrus and the little girl built a much insisted on sandcastle. Every now and then, the water would come too close for Garrus' liking and he would eye it warily. The little girl didn't seem to notice and started lecturing Garrus when he stopped building the castle and his eyes had turned to the water. He seemed defeated listening to the little girl and listened to her intently. Cai couldn't make out anything that they were saying, but, it was nice to watch them. After the tiny girl got done with her lecture, Garrus and she went back to building the sandcastle.

_"Do you think she'll be alright?"_ The first voice that she heard shocked her and Cai looked around looking for the source. There wasn't anything but her, Garrus, and the girl on the beach at the moment. A few passersby on the beach, but no one close enough to where she would be able to hear them speaking, Would  _who_ be alright? Everything seemed fine from her point of view. Garrus and she were spending time on the beach with this cute little girl who was once again lecturing Garrus for taking his eyes off of the castle to look at the water.

_"Yes."_ This was another voice, but it was coming from a different person. Again, Cai looked around for the source, and again. She saw no one. This was getting strange. Where were those voices coming from? Curiosity overtaking her, she got out of the water and started looking around. Some of the passersby looked at her like she had lost a couple marbles since she seemed to be looking for someone in particular. Looking around provided no results. Quickly, she turned when a loud sound was emitted from behind her. Gasping, Cai opened her eyes and looked around. The beach, Garrus, and the little girl were gone. She had obtained a splitting headache.

Gasping, Cai opened her eyes and looked around. The beach, Garrus, and the little girl were gone. She had obtained a splitting headache that could also be chalked up to the fact that she had almost died from asphyxiation not even a full twenty-four hours ago. Her brain felt ten times its actual size and felt like it was throbbing against her skull. Cai sat up, grunting from the newfound pain in her abdomen and all her other extremities. She scanned the room, trying to get the haze from her dream to dissipate. She was in the med bay. Little by little, her memories became clear. Some of the soldiers were whispering among themselves, many of them though were still asleep. One of the doctors was picking up a tray of instruments that had knocked over, a fair assumption to make that it was what woke her up. When she looked behind her, she saw her friends were standing there staring at her.

"It seems she is awake." Samara smiled and let out a sigh of relief. So it had been Samara that she heard in her dream. It was a shame that she had to wake up, not because she wanted to be dead, but at that moment she had been living her dream with Garrus.

_Garrus!_

Cai stood up, pretty much jumping out of her cot. She stumbled and caught herself with a nearby table of instrument trays. She was even less sturdy on her feet than she thought she would've been. Of course, given the situation, she should be thankful that she was even alive. She knew that she just needed to find Garrus. They had departed after he had gotten injured, but no matter how she looked around, he wasn't here. That could only mean that he had been in the Normandy when the teams split up to take on the Reapers. A voice coming from behind her was startling, and she turned around immediately on guard. It would be a habit that was hard to break. Since she was kid she had always had to be on guard, but now that the war was over, she could let her guard fall.

"I've tried all I could," Jacob had walked from another part of the medical bay tapping at his Omni-tool like his life depended on it. His brows were furrowed and he looked extremely frustrated. "I can't get a message to the Normandy. It seems like their communications were damaged." This time it was Cai's turn to furrow her brows. All she remembered was destroying the Reapers and then waking up underneath a huge amount of rubble that should've killed her. There wasn't anything that should've damaged the Normandy.

"Damaged? From what?" All her friends turned to her with a confused expression. Samara was the first one to seem to realize why their friend was so confused. One by one afterward, they followed.

"After this  _huge_ explosion, there was this huge fucking orange...  _thing_! It was, I don't even know." Jack... eloquently elaborated.

"It was a rather large shockwave," Samara explained. Despite these explanations, Cai seemed even more confused than she had been, to begin with. "Whatever it was is not certain, but, it seems to have defeated--"

" _Decimated_ is a better word." Jack had interrupted. Samara blinked and sighed, but continued without missing a beat.

"the Reapers. There is not a trace of them left, it was almost like they were never here."

This gave Cai time to think. Whatever that wave was seemed to have arisen from her choice. However, it should've destroyed all Synthetics, which included her. So, why was she not...? Perhaps it could've been from being buried under all that rubble that saved her? Maybe she'd never know. Cai put her face in her hands, feeling like she was going to cry. Even though she had survived, there was no way to get a hold of their friends to let them know that they were safe and sound and to find out if  _they_ were safe and sound as well. Wrex had assured her that they had gotten out, but what if something happened afterward that they couldn't see and all her friends perished and now they were just floating in space waiting for someone to find their corpses? Jacob must have sensed her distress and cleared his throat.

"D-Don't worry," He stammered. "Joker is a hell of a pilot, I'm sure that they're fine." Jacob wasn't necessarily  _wrong._ None of them would've gotten this far without him as their pilot and he knew it. Good, at least he knew that he was valued. Although she had tried to comfort herself, she didn't find the thought comforting. She wouldn't feel better until she found all her friends.

"Yeah, Sunshine." Wrex was the next to comfort her. That was something that she had never thought would happen. Usually, he just smacked you on the back and said  _suck it up_ or something to that extent. Cai raised her head and looked around and then became a little more frantic. She knew that Garrus wasn't with them, he was on the Normandy, but...

"Elunaa?" Cai asked and studied her friend's faces. She didn't see any of them that held bad news behind their eyes. She exhaled. "She's on the Normandy too?" Kasumi nodded. At least there was a chance that her sister was alive. She would've felt better if Garrus and all her other friends were right here in front of her. Of course, things like that could never be easy. She rubbed her temples with her fingers. "You know..." Cai began and chuckled, shaking her head. Now that everything was over, she could confide in them as a person instead of keeping the  _Commander_ mask on at all times. "I... I thought I was going to die. For good this time." She confessed. While she was under all those rocks, she had been trying to come to terms with the fact that she was going to die for real, but slowly, and most likely painfully.

"Beating Death once seemed impossible, but you did that," Jack said, folding her arms. She must've sensed Cai's sordid mood and wanted to see her friend more upbeat. After all, this was a time for celebration, but also a time that they had to think of their next move. "What's another time?" Cai gave a weak smile and began to walk away.

"You really should stay resting," Kasumi advised, taking a step towards her friend.

"I won't go far," Cai promised and made her way out of the medical bay, aware of her friends watching her making sure that she didn't fall or hurt herself at all.

Shepard's blue eyes looked at the sky. She had heard stories about how space travel was a process considered impossible many years ago. When humans had found out that it wasn't, they had explored Sol, believing it to be the only star system that there was. Now they were free to travel among space like it was going next door to see your neighbor. Even though her friends were inside the medical bay waiting for her safe return, she couldn't help but feel like the Humans long ago; cut off from the space and the possibilities in it. The stars shined brightly above her, her thoughts traveling to the Normandy and where it could possibly be at that moment. Even if her ship had left, there  _had_ to be a way to find them. This was her friends after all, and her sister, and her lover. The people most important to her. Cai couldn't leave any of her friends unaccounted for. Determination filled her, perhaps there was a ship that they could commandeer in order to go and search for the Normandy. With a plan, she turned and hobbled her way back to the others, stumbling slightly. Everyone was gathered together and seemed to be debating on something. They most likely knew that she wasn't going to sit back and wait for Jacob to possibly get a message through. It could be too late by then anyway.

"Is there a ship I can use?" Cai asked them, ignoring Jacob's sigh and shake of the head, ignoring the other soldiers that were in the bay. She ignored everything, only focusing on her plan.

"You're hurt and you wanna go on a cruise through space?" Grunt asked, obviously disagreeing with the idea. Heavily. She should've known that not all of her friends would smile happily and get on a ship with her to go cruising through space. After all, there were injured that needed to be tended to.

"That's not the point!" Shepard argued. "What if they're hurt or they're stranded?!" Cai watched as Kasumi scratched the back of her neck, Wrex made no notion of what he was thinking, Samara seemed like she was on the fence of agreeing to Shepard's rather... impulsive plan, and Jack just threw her hands up in the air in defeat.  _Well, at least I got one._

"There's no point in arguing," Jack mumbled and folded her arms again. It was true. Cai was one of the most stubborn people that many of them met-as she had been told. "If you're going to go traipsing through space, you should at least have someone at your side that you can trust." Cai smiled and nodded her head in thanks, her eyes turned to Samara who shook her head.

"I am going to have to protest. I will stay here and tend to the wounded." Samara's calm voice was quite the opposite of the frantic atmosphere among the rest of her friends. "Plus, you need to rest yourself. If I follow, if you get injured more, I will feel responsible."

"I can rest when I'm dead."

Wrex's loud laugh rang through the med bay, waking some soldiers who when seeing the coast was clear, turned around and went back to sleep. A big smile was on the mercenary's face, and she was thankful that at least  _two_ of her friends were condoning her impulsive, and possibly destructive behavior.

"Then it doesn't look like you're ever going to get rest. You can't seem to stay dead." Death glares came from all around him, Jack scoffed and shook her head.

"Krogan can be so uncouth..." Kasumi mumbled.

"What?" Wrex defended with a shrug. "You know it's true."

Another sigh came from the circle of friends. Jack shook her head and peeked out of the med bay. For what, she didn't know, but she seemed to be happy with what she saw.

"We can use mine. The kids are gonna stay here and play clean up. It's not as big as the Normandy, but it should be good enough." Cai couldn't believe that Jack had a ship, but she was thankful that she did. Maybe it was just a ship  _for_ the kids she took care of.

"I'll stay here." Jacob smiled at his friends. "I'll keep trying the Normandy."

"Be careful, Shepard," Samara said and hugged her friend before heading to help the doctors with the more severely wounded. To be honest, Cai thought that they would protest more, but what were they going to do? Once she had made a decision, it was final. Especially if those that she cared about were involved.

_I'll be there soon, guys... Hang in there._

"All right!" Wrex exclaimed, slamming his hands together. "Let's get out there and find those morons!"

Cai was the last to leave the med bay. She hugged Jacob and Samara again before leaving. Once they found the Normandy and were able to send communications, she would make sure that Jacob and Samara were contacted.

"Can we save the mushy stuff for later?" Grunt asked, following Jack towards the ship. "I'm sure we'll see enough of it for a lifetime when you and your Turian meet back up."

Ignoring the comment, Cai kept on. Jack led them to the ship that they would be using. Considering it was almost right in the middle of the battlefield, it was well maintained. Jack was right, it wasn't anywhere near as big as the Normandy, but she didn't think that would need a warship anyway. All they needed was something to keep them safe as they searched for their friends. Everyone stood outside, evaluating the ship. This seemed to aggravate Jack, or maybe it was the embarrassment as she may have taken it as they were criticizing it.

"What the hell are you standing around for?" Jack called from the door. "You wanna go or not!?" The small group one by one went inside the small ship.

Inside the ship, Cai looked around. She really  _shouldn't_ have moved so soon, but she couldn't lay around and not worry about her friends. Every bone in her body was hurting, especially her side. She grunted and held it tightly, limping to the bridge and looked around. She wished that Joker was here. She sighed, she was missing them more and more with each passing second.

"Move over," Kasumi demanded, moving passed Grunt and Wrex, plopping down in the pilot's chair.

"Uh, what are you doing?"

"I can drive."

"Oh no no, Sweetheart." Jack could've burned holes into someone by how hot that glare was.

"Can you drive?" Kasumi asked more taunting than  _actually_ asking. She felt like she was trying to drive a space bus with a group of kindergartners. That headache was starting to come back.

"... You better not crash it." Jack warned and plopped down next to Kasumi. "Where you wanna start, Commander?" Shepard exhaled. She didn't even know where to begin to  _begin_ thinking of where she would go. There was so much ground to cover, and they could be going the exact opposite of the way that they were going at this very moment. She didn't want to let doubt in, but it began to sink in and she felt like giving up. Shepard knew they couldn't...

"Let's... just concentrate on getting out of here first." Cai's voice was low, and even though it was obvious that she didn't know what she was going to do, no one said anything.

"Roger." Kasumi nodded and lifted the ship up and took off flawlessly.

"...Well, you didn't crash it." Jack said. That was as close to a compliment as someone was going to get from Jack, and Cai was surprised that Kasumi had gotten that much.

Everything was so quiet. Cai had gotten used to the sounds of ships firing, sounds of distress signals, explosions, and the crew running around. The sounds of war and Joker evading the Reapers had become the lullaby that had helped her sleep. One night, during a mere skirmish, Elunaa and Cai were camping out in her cabin, talking as they lay in bed. There was a long pause in their conversation which Cai didn't mind. Elunaa had poked her after a few minutes.

_"Hey, you awake?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Have you noticed...?"_

_"Noticed what?"_ Cai didn't know why Elunaa had always been like that. How was she supposed to know what was going through her crazy sister's brain enough to make a smart guess?

_"Have you noticed that the Reapers look like head lice?"_ Cai had blinked her eyes, and from then on, she could never really look at the Reapers the same way. Elunaa was the only one that Cai knew that could be in a battle with a creature that could annihilate them all without a second thought and look at them and think _head lice_.

Truth be told, she missed the hustle and bustle that was the Normandy. The silence was peaceful, but when you weren't used to it, it could be a one-way ticket to anxiety. Since her life had never really been peaceful, it was hard to adjust to it overnight. Nothing was said, but the ship-called Alpha-began to travel away from Earth. Cai looked through the glass, seeing their origin planet disappearing further and further from view. All around them was the floating black and purple nebula of space. It was so vast, and when looking at the abyss, it seemed to look back at you; worrying her even more. The ship wasn't necessarily moving  _slow_ per se, but since they were all so anxious about finding their friends, it wasn't going fast enough for their liking. Cai herself was leaning against a wall, biting her lip. Wrex was pacing back and forth, Grunt had his arms folded and was tapping his foot, Jack was leaned back in her chair with her feet on the console, while Kasumi did her best to navigate them trying not to fall asleep from the lack of happenings. The silence between the Alpha and the surrounding space had been going on for more than three hours. The silence had seemed to grate on Wrex's last nerve-what little bundle he had to begin with-because he suddenly yelled,

"How long is this going to take?!" She could understand his frustration. Even with Alpha's FTL drive, it still wasn't going the speed they were used to in the Normandy. Not to mention that more space than they expected was going to be covered because  _somehow_ the Mass Relays were destroyed. The only thought that made sense on this strange phenomenon was that that orange shockwave that Jack and Samara had been talking about was the culprit behind the Relays destruction. None of them knew how long it was going to take, and it was only natural to get restless and anxious.

"Do I look like I know?!" Kasumi had snapped back. Wrong move. Now Wrex and Kasumi were in a pissing match. Yelling back and forth in the small space did nothing for her headache. To be honest, at this point, she just wanted to deck them both.

"This is what we get for letting a woman drive," Wrex said. Cai sighed and rolled her eyes. She knew that Wrex wasn't sexist in the least bit. After all, he followed Shepard for years, and last time she had checked she was a woman. Now he was doing this  _just_ to aggravate Kasumi and she bit. Hard.

"Don't make me turn this ship around!"

"If you could even figure out how to do it!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Jack screamed. Silence once again. Cai's head was pounding even more than it had been when they pulled her from the rubble.

"He started it-"

"She started it-"

"I don't care  _who_ the fuck started it, just  _shut up_!"

Kasumi and Wrex accused each other but were silent after Jack yelled at them, each folding their arms and looking away from each other. Mature. Grunt rolled his eyes and disappeared further in the ship. He wanted to be anywhere but with them, Cai couldn't say she blamed him. She was ready to get the hell outta dodge from them too. This headache they caused was  _unreal_. Jack exhaled and guided Shepard towards the back of the ship where a couple cabins were at. Jack smiled gently at her friend, that was a first. Perhaps Jack sympathized with her, or the realization of the whole situation was finally sinking in.

"Here, you can rest here," Cai was about to protest, but Jack cut back in. "I promise I'll wake you up if we even find the  _smallest_ thing. I'm sure you have a headache and you hurt. It'll be good for you to get away from Idiot One and Idiot Two for a while."

"Thanks..."

"No problem," Jack hesitated for a moment before speaking. " _Cai_." She smiled seeing that Shepard didn't protest and left her alone to sleep.

Yeah right... Five hours later and nothing had happened nor was Cai asleep, but it wasn't from lack of trying. Painted images of pain and strife, filled her mind of her friends' demise and her inability to help them. She didn't know what she'd do if she found that any of her friends had died because she couldn't get to them. She closed her eyes, trying to fall asleep again, but only saw more horrid images behind her eyelids. Tears filled her eyes and fell down her cheeks. Once she let those out, it was like a dam bursting. She covered her eyes with her hands and sobbed, not caring who heard. Her shoulders were shaking and her whole body was wracked with tremors. The more that she cried, the harder she found it to breathe, but she couldn't stop crying. She wasn't sure how long she had been sobbing, but when they had lessened to something just below sniffling, she realized how tired she was. Her brows were furrowed indicating the pain she had felt before she found temporary oblivion in slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the relatively boring chapter and the fact that it had so much dialogue in advance. Either way, I hope you still like it.
> 
> (Also, kinda off topic, but if another "note" pops up at the bottom of the screen with this one talking about the first chapter, I literally have no idea what's going on with that and no matter what I do, I can't really make it go away. Sorry for that too.)


	6. Chapter 06

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She had died to save this galaxy. Garrus wouldn't let them fail again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6~! Here we are beauties and gentlebeauties! Here we are with another chapter. I'm a little on a roll today, and I hope you like it.

For once, it was almost pure silence in the Normandy at nighttime. Joker, the mechanics, and EDI had been working on the massive repairs all day, and still, the faint sounds could be heard into the night. Joker had said he was surprised that the Normandy was able to fly at all with the amount of damage that she had taken. EDI had merely looked at him and blinked her eyes.  _"I am more than capable of being self-sufficient."_ Naturally, Joker felt the need to backtrack to try and explain to EDI that wasn't what he had meant, but it seemed the damage was already done. EDI had started to give him the silent treatment after that.

Throughout the day, Garrus had been in the medical bay in the Normandy listening to the sounds of the repairs. After he had woken up, Dr. Chakwas had informed him of what he had done in his blind rage. Garrus had immediately felt guilty. Joker was one of his best friends, and his rage and grief had taken him over to make him something other than himself. Tears in his eyes, he looked at Dr. Chakwas and repeatedly apologized to her.  _"I didn't mean to"_ kept coming from his mouth, he felt so guilty and broken. He couldn't believe that he had done that. The gentle giant truly hadn't been himself. Laying back down per the doctor's request, he listened to the repairs and the silence of the Normandy. How long had it been since he had been able to have the welcome relief of silence? Like Tali had said long ago, the silence of the Normandy made her uneasy. She had been so used to the sounds of the ships on the Flotilla that being in a silent ship made her wonder if something was wrong. Garrus finally understood what she had meant because he now felt the same. Every now and then, the distant sound of footsteps could be heard but it was hardly anything else. Thankfully, Dr. Chakwas had been by his side all day. He didn't know what he would do if he was left alone to his thoughts. Occasionally she would ask small questions:  _how is your head feeling, Garrus? Would you like something to eat? Drink?_ Then there were other times where she would just tell him stories from when she was younger, and truthfully, Garrus was happy to hear it. Her stories were something that was going to help him take his mind off of what had happened with Cai  _and_ with Joker.

When the sun had fully descended over the peak of the nearby mountains, and the moon began to shine in its place, Garrus was finally released. Dr. Chakwas had said that she would've released him after her first tests after he woke up, but, she knew that Garrus would end up staying there any way from his guilt. Garrus stood up and looked down at Dr. Chakwas, hesitating for a moment before hugging her. The doctor didn't protest, Garrus was thankful that she knew that what he had done wasn't his true nature. Waving goodbye, he darted through the Normandy, dodging the sidelong glances he got from some of the crew members and retreated to the Main Battery where he had found solace. He only allowed himself a breath of relief when he closed the door behind him and closed himself inside. He looked around at the familiar scenery. He had spent so much time in here, and now he heard nothing  _but_ the sounds of repairs. He had hoped it would dull out his thoughts from wandering but to no avail. Staring at the console, he recalled the times that Cai would come into the Main Battery in an attempt to talk to him. He would hear the door opening and that would be when the nervousness would set in. His heart would be so quickly and so loud that sometimes he was sure Cai could hear it. If she did, she had never said anything. When she would come in, she would always wait until the door closed, take two soft steps, putting her behind him. That in itself would only make him more nervous. Humans radiated warmth, unlike Turians. Cai, however, radiated something more. He couldn't tell if it was because of her warmth as a  _person_ or if he was  _"blushing"_ as the humans called it. Garrus didn't think Turians could blush, but he also didn't think that he could fall in love with a human either. His fingers would shake when they tried to type on the console, and just like clockwork, he would hear her say his name.

_"Garrus."_ When he was alone in the Main Battery, he would think about what to say to her when she came in to see him. He had so many choices and thoughts run through his head. Garrus was an idiot, and he knew it. When she would come in and he would turn around to look at her, all scripted conversations he had for them had flown out the airlock and he would just look at her. All his scrambled brain would be able to muster in response would be a  _"Cai"_ or  _"Shepard"_. Of course, then he'd stand there like an idiot, mentally cursing himself that he hadn't been able to say something different and wishing the Spirits would strike him down where he stood. Sometimes she would come in just to check on the Normandy's status, even though she could ask EDI at any time via the intercom.

_"Can I talk to you for a minute?"_ Like an idiot, he'd look back at the console and then back at Shepard. He would clear his throat and point his thumb to the keyboard behind him.

_"Can it wait a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations."_ She would smile and apologize for interrupting, departing after giving a wave and a quick nod. When he heard the door close, he would turn back to his console and smack his hand against his face and sigh. What an idiot.

Though he was always an idiot, he couldn't help but smile at the memories of her coming to visit him for various mundane reasons. How could someone be in the middle of calibrations all the time? Most of the time he just made an excuse not to talk to her. It wasn't because he didn't  _want_ to. He'd sit there and listen to her talk for  _hours_ about whatever, the weather, time, coffee it didn't matter. He just wanted to say something that would be worth her listening to in response. The last thing that Garrus wanted to do was make a fool out of himself, boring or annoying her. If she had been able to see through his excuse-which he was sure she did, because Cai was the smartest woman he had ever met-she had never called him out on it. The more that Garrus thought about not boring her, the more nervous he got, and in turn would make a stupid excuse. Not even a  _different_ one, but the same one all the time. Then he looked like the bigger idiot and he was sure he was boring her. After all, she had better things to do than to come and talk to him, but... she had always made time. The least he could've done was give her something to talk about since she made a trip to see him, but no. She was making time to talk to him even when the galaxy needed her with every passing second and the best thing he could come up with was  _"calibrations"_.

_How does someone simply talk to a woman_ that  _beautiful?_

The only time that Garrus could think off the top of his head that he hadn't acted like a  _complete_ idiot was when Shepard and Kasumi came back from getting some kind of "gray box" that Kasumi had asked for her assistance with. Before she left, he told her to come and talk to him when she got back so that he would know she was alright. When she had come, the  _last_ thing he had expected was to see her in that dress. Needless to say, he was stunned. It hugged her in all the right places, jewelry hung from her neck and dropped just above her cleavage. Garrus found him swallowing the lump in his throat and had noticed that his mouth had become completely dry. Two things had shocked him. One, he found himself jealous of the dress that was hugging her curves. Two, without even realizing what he was doing, he had reached behind him and manually shut the door and lock it. This time  _he_ was the one that had surprised  _her_. He watched her turn around and saw her cheeks were a crimson red. Apparently, she hadn't been expecting that. Good. Garrus closed the distance between them and watched as Cai turned her head away from him. She had been shy, it was the first time he had ever seen her like that. Garrus had decided to take the plunge then, he had turned her face to him. If he wasn't good with words, maybe his actions would show how he felt. He leaned down and placed a tentative kiss on her lips. When she didn't resist, he put his hands gently on her hips. When their lips parted, he had titled her head up by her chin to look at him.

_I never want anyone but me to see this face of yours._

Coming back to reality, Garrus realized that he had stopped typing on the keyboard. Everything he had been thinking about was her. Memories. Past tense.  _Was._ _Had._ He had never hated such words as he did now.  There was no present tense with her. No future tense. Yet, she was and always would be his past, present, and future. Depression began its way sinking back into her body along with the painful clench in his chest. If he hadn't have droned on about calibrations so long and had been honest with himself sooner, he would've gotten to spend more time with her. He sighed and looked back at the console just as EDI's voice had come over the intercom.

"Repairs complete." She reported to everyone. Garrus had looked down back at the console, but just a few moments after sirens were heard around the ship signaling trouble. Garrus opened the door and looked around. The crew was running around, some were looking puzzled and confused while others immediately headed towards their stations. He got in the elevator and headed to the bridge, but the elevator stopped on every floor gathering more of his friends until they arrived at the desired floor.

"What's going on?" Liara asked, looking around.

"Something is definitely wrong," Tali explained, worry barely visible in her eyes.

Inside, Joker was rapidly tapping on his console, EDI was next to him intently staring at what looked like an audio file.

"What happened?" Elunaa asked, running late to the bridge.

"We received a distress signal," Joker answered.

"What? So why did the ship sound an alert?" Tali asked. She didn't know the Normandy to do such a thing with just a distress signal.

"This message was sent as the highest priority, which no doubt caused my distress signal to sound," EDI explained. "I am currently trying to reduce interference in the file to make it understandable, but it is heavily damaged."

An unrecognizable voice was heard when EDI pushed a button, displaying the file on the large monitor, heavy static filled the bridge. What sounded like rapid shots could be heard in the background and screaming. The voice cut in and out, the static interfering with the voice.

"...help...attacked...coordinates..." The message cut off, leaving them all confused and looking for answers among themselves.

"I was able to extract the coordinates from the corrupted file. Jeff is currently placing them into my navigation system." EDI explained, looking down at Joker.

"You don't need to narrate everything I do, EDI," Joker said with a small smile.

"I apologize," EDI spoke. A few more seconds passed before she spoke. "Jeff is preparing for take off."

Joker sighed. Garrus felt the familiar sensation of the Normandy taking off and flying into orbit. Cai had died so that this galaxy could be a better place. If there was anything that they could do to make that a reality, even if it was just a small thing like helping a ship, he believed they'd all feel better if they did that. Apparently, Joker seemed to think the same thing. As soon as they were in orbit, he put the Normandy to FTL speeds and dashed towards the coordinates the ship had left in its message. Garrus could tell they were close by the sounds of ships being hit. Garrus just hoped that they'd make it in time.

_Don't let us fail again..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There ya go! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as it was HIGHLY edited from the original. Leave a comment/kudos if you like. Have a great day/night~! :D


	7. Chapter 07

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A battle, the Alpha, and Krogan mercenaries; oh my!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright gang, here we are in Chapter 7. I hope that you've all enjoyed it so far. We're making our way towards the end slowly but surely. Actually, maybe it's not too slow for you guys, I hope it's not going too fast for you.
> 
> Also, thank you SarTheElf for your wonderful comments. Also, thank you AlyssaLaylaVictoria for bookmarking. You guys are great!

Though Cai had reached oblivion in the depths of sleep, her dreams remained as destructive and worrisome as her life while she was awake. Around her was the familiar scenery of the Citadel. Its inhabitants were running around, fear almost tangible in their eyes and expressions. Cai had run to the small bridge in the distance. Cai heard the familiar Reaper's call and her eyes darted around trying to find someone;  _anyone_ to help her. They were coming, and with her current armament, they were all sitting ducks. The whole Citadel shook with the force of a blast the Reapers had blown their way. Cai had to hold onto the bridge's railing to make sure she didn't fall forward and possibly crack her head against the Citadel's sharp points of its architecture.

Just as soon as the Citadel had appeared before her, it was gone. She was left alone in a black abyss, similar to when she was trapped under all that rubble. The sounds of explosions were all around her and Cai could only assume that the Reapers were after them. Desperately, she tried to run but with no distinguishable features, Cai wasn't sure if she was running forward at all gaining any headway, or if she was just running in place. All she knew was that her body  _feared_ for her life,  _demanding_ that she leave the vicinity immediately. Her blood turned to icicles in her veins, the echoes of screams and explosions shaking her to her very core. Hear beating wildly, Cai frantically looked around. Either hyperventilation or a heart attack was on its way for her and no matter how hard she looked she couldn't find another being around her nor the source of the explosions.

Strength to walk, let alone run, gave out and she fell to her knees in the impenetrable, black abyss.  Covering her ears, she tried to mask the symphony of explosions and screams mingling with the air around her. Harder she pressed, unable to drown out the sound completely. She was so alone here,  _so_ alone. Tears ran down her face, leaving stains on her cheeks. The tears fell from her cheeks and into the abyss below, disappearing into nothingness. It boiled to the surface and she opened her mouth and screamed at the top of her lungs

"Stop!"

A massive explosion shook the world. Cai's eyes opened and she was blinking everything into focus. Four walls. A floor, which she was currently on. Her relief was short lived however since the explosions did not cease. This time though, she was able to go and find the source of the still present explosions and screams. Trying to push herself up off the floor proved a massive failure the first time. Every muscle and bone in her body ached and the severity of it, alongside the unexpected side of it, she fell right back down on the floor. Grunting from the pain, she tried again gritting her teeth she pushed herself up fully with her body protesting in every manner that it knew how to. She held onto her head which was currently protesting the loudest. Her steps were slow but deliberate as she made her way to the bridge trying to retrace the path that Jack had taken her on when she was given the cabin. Thankfully the small size of the ship made it quite hard to not remember the way to the bridge as well as not putting too much of a strain on her body. Another shot and the Alpha shook from the impact, knocking Cai against a wall and hitting her head.  _So much for the_ "no strain on her body"  _part._ The Alpha continued to shake as Shepard made her trek to the bridge, knocking into a nearby wall every time thankfully only hitting her head two out of the six times.

The first voice that she heard upon her ascension to the bridge was Jack. Yelling. Imagine that. Between the constant shaking, the explosions, and the shots it was hard to understand what she was saying until she had gotten closer.  
"I thought you said you knew how to pilot a fucking ship!" She argued, glaring at Kasumi.

"I never said I was a  _certified_ pilot!" Kasumi threw back. The look on Jack's face was enough to kill and if they didn't have more pressing issues on their hands, she was sure that Jack would've picked Kasumi up via biotics and repeatedly slammed her against the wall trying to knock some sense into her. Kasumi hadn't taken her eyes off the scene and was trying her hardest to maneuver the Alpha away from their current situation; they were surrounded on almost all sides by ships, all at least two times bigger than the Alpha. It reminded her of being a child in school and being surrounded by the bullies in the higher grades. Though, this... was obviously  _extremely_ more serious than that. "Who  _are_ these guys anyway?!"

"A small fleet of Krogan mercenaries," Wrex explained. "I can tell by the ships. Look, these guys are the type to beat around the bush. You need to get us the hell out of here, and  _now._ " Fear had never really been in Wrex's eyes, but it seemed to be creeping up now. They were  _insanely_ outnumbered and outsized. The Alpha stood no chance at this size, even if it was a warship. Cai was also sure he was worried for his own life now that he was going to be a father. Another shot came from the Krogan ships, hitting them even though Kasumi was trying to maneuver out of the way from the blast.

Warning sounds came from the ship. Cai looked around, the overhead lights were flickering on and off.  _That_ couldn't be good. Her eyes darted to Kasumi who was rapidly tapping on the console in addition to moving their ship.  
"Shields are down to 25%!" She announced. The shields were honestly the only reason that the Alpha hadn't already been blown into salvageable parts and they all knew it. Once they were destroyed, the Alpha wouldn't hold against those guns at all. She wished they had Joker right now, he'd be able to get them out of here no problem. Then again, she wished they had the Normandy. That ship would be able to take these guys down with no problem.

Cai's eyes scanned the battlefield, holding onto the back of Kasumi's chair while she dodged most of the oncoming blasts, trying to head away without exposing too much of their back. She could see the glistening of sweat on Kasumi's hands, she was trying  _so_ hard. It was commendable. This was a sticky situation and she couldn't blame it on her. Anyone of them would've been in the same spot. The idea that had popped into her head was risky, but right now it was the only one they had. The Alpha was faster than the other ships, but it didn't matter if they didn't get into a spot where they could use the FTL drive.  
"Move between those ships!" She commanded, seeing a small opening that seemed like it would  _barely_ fit the Alpha. If they could just squeeze into there and activate the drive, they could get the hell out of here. Another hit.  
"Shields are down to 10%!"

Steeling herself, Kasumi tried her hardest to get between the two ships while protecting their back. They heard another shot and the Alpha was shaken roughly. Kasumi hit her head hard against the console. Cai was surprised she hadn't knocked herself out. Most of them had either fallen against the wall or on the floor. Grunting, Wrex had helped her off the floor and looked back at the scene.  
"Ow..." Kasumi cursed under her breath. "Shit!"

"Now would be a great time to get us out of here!" Grunt yelled, holding onto the back of Jack's chair in an effort to stay stabilized.

"They hit the drive core," Kasumi said, beads of sweat pricking against her hairline. With every bit of damage that the Alpha had taken, it was slowing down. The Krogan mercenaries were practically toying with them at the point; like a lion terrorizing and taunting its prey.

"You had  _one_ job, Kasumi! One!" Jack berated.

"You yelling isn't going to help!"

"Can you two just shut the hell up!?" Wrex yelled, effectively silencing them both. Another shot hit, this harder than the one that had knocked Kasumi's head against the console. Even the powerhouses that Wrex and Grunt were, were knocked around like a rag doll in a tornado. This amount of power against one shot could really only mean one thing.

"Sheilds are destroyed," Kasumi's voice was cracking. "Hull is at 45%." They were done. They all knew it, but none of them really wanted to  _say_ it. The only hope that they had was to call for help. A shame she hadn't thought of it sooner, but with everything happening all at once and also having just woken up, the thought hadn't crossed her mind. She just hoped that the communications weren't damaged.

"Kasumi, can you send out a distress signal?" Cai asked. Jack's hands were balled into fists and she glared at the ships. She seemed to be thinking of something.

"I can try, but... the communications are  _severely_ damaged. It may not even send." Kasumi warned and pulled up the recorder and the signal, trying to make it reach the utmost priority in the channels. "Whenever you're ready, Shepard."

Shepard inhaled, her eyes never leaving the ships in front of her.  
"This is Commander Cai Shepard of the Alpha," She began. "We need help now! We're being attacked by a fleet of Krogan mercenaries and our ship is severely damaged along with our drive core. Any ships that are nearby, please respond! Our pilot will be sending the coordinates in this message." With a nod, Kasumi quickly sent the message.

"I have an idea," Jack said. "Maybe I can use my biotics in order to create a barrier around us for a short amount of time. Hopefully, someone will respond. If I can... it won't protect us completely, just absorb some of the damage."

"If you can, do it." Cai nodded. Jack stood up and went towards a more centralized location on the floor. She was mouthing something, possibly praying? Her body glowed with an ethereal purple glow and surrounded them. If they didn't get help, she would be the cause of everyone's deaths around her. These friends that she loved so much were practically killed by her own hand.

"Hull in critical condition..."

Wrex gave a laugh, but it was humorless. "... Never thought I'd be taken down by my own kind, and before getting to see my kid."

Cai wanted to say  _I'm sorry._ Something. Anything to try and give them peace and comfort. What could she do? How could she comfort a father that was going to die before seeing his kid? How could she comfort a teacher who would leave behind her kids full of tears and sadness? If she had tried to say something, would they have blamed her? All the warning signals in the ship were going off as if even  _they_ were angry at her for bringing her friends into this. Cai closed her eyes and heard the sound of a shot, ready for everything to cut to black and her life to end, again. But it didn't...

"Is that...?" Grunt asked, her eyes opened to see the ship in front of them had been decimated beyond all belief, almost like there had never been a ship, to begin with.

"Alpha, this is the Normandy SR-2." Joker's voice was broken, but understandable in the comm unit.

"I've never been so happy to hear that idiot's voice in my whole life," Jack said, lowering the shield. Her hair was sticking to her neck and head from where she had been sweating. It must take a toll on her. She walked to the chair almost like a zombie and collapsed on it.

"We shall take the battle now," EDI's voice was next in the comm unit. "Please fall back, you are critically injured."

"She's starting to state the obvious," Wrex laughed. This time his laugh was  _full_ of humor though. "She's been hanging out with Garrus."

_Garrus..._

Cai broke into a wide smile and let the Normandy pass in front of them as a protective barrier. The Krogan ships seemed to be attempting a retreat, but Joker was not having it. Against the Normandy, the ships had not a chance. Withing a few shots, the once-threatening mercenaries were decimated just as the first had been, watching the small slivers of metal floating further into the nothingness of space. Kasumi laughed in relief and leaned back in her chair, wiping the beads of sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand.

"Eh, I wasn't even worried..." Wrex said, his bravado rising to its full threshold. Cai smiled and looked around at the relieved faces of her friends. The least that she could do was take them to drinks after this. She thought that they deserved much, they actually deserved  _more_ , but there weren't enough credits ever made to repay all they've done for her.

"Thanks..." Cai whispered.

"C'mon, none of that touchy-feely self-help yoga crap." Grunt murmured, obviously embarrassed at the sincerity of her thanks. Joker's voice cut through their conversation.

"Occupants of the Alpha put on your space suits and we'll let you aboard."

Cai wished that their communications weren't so badly damaged so that they could respond, but it didn't matter. She smiled and one by one, they left the Alpha after donning some spare space suits that the ship contained. Thankfully Jack had kids of all species she took care of so Wrex and Grunt would have some. The Normandy took its place next to the Alpha and waited. It took some awkward movement of jumping through space with their mag boots on to get from ship to ship, but after a few attempts both Human and Krogan were aboard.

"Decontamination in progress." The heard repeatedly, the gridded slider moving back and forth in the airlock. "Equalizing exterior pressure with the interior atmosphere." After what felt like forever, the airlock door opened to reveal Cai and the others face to face with the rest of her friends. The unshackled AI, the Brittle-boned Pilot, The Quarian Mechanic, The Asari Prothean Expert, Vega-she hadn't ever really cared much for him, and  _him._

_Archangel._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not very good at writing fight scenes. I never really have been and I'm sure that I never will be. I tried my best back then and now. I really hope you all enjoyed and would stick until the end.
> 
> Have a great day/night!


	8. Chapter 08

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunited at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, so here we are on chapter -checks- 8! In the original version, I had two chapters dedicated the reunion. However, rereading it, but, I didn't like it. It felt kinda awkward. I had wanted to do one chapter in Cai's perspective and one in Garrus', but it felt forced to me and was pretty much like reading the same thing over. So instead, I combined chapters 8 and 9 into the current 8 that you're going to read.
> 
> I really hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Shoutout to valeria1314151611 for giving me such a sweet comment. I dedicate this reunion chapter to you.

With the final ship gone and its fragments of metal floating further and further into space it was time to turn their attention to the small ship that they had been protecting. Realistically, this ship should've been salvage bits a long time ago. Those ships had been  _heavily_ armed and from the quick, once over that Garrus had given the small ship in front of them, they barely had the power of a .45. Whoever was in there, that crew must've been very knowledgeable. Maneuvering around a shakedown from a group of Krogan wasn't an either feat for either the commander or the pilot. He'd have to give them a handshake, maybe exchange battle stories. However, they actually had to meet. Garrus had been shocked, to say the least when Joker had invited them on board. He had  _always_ been anal about who was let on the Normandy. Even Elunaa who was Cai's own  _sister_ had gotten the third degree when she was welcomed-by everyone else-onboard the Normandy. He didn't think that he would ever forget him freaking out;  _She's related to you? That means she'll blow something up! She's crazy! Have you seen her deal with explosives?_  Every single one of Cai's potential comrades pretty much had to pass the "Joker Test" in order to be considered a true crew member. So this was  _very_ unlike him. Looking back on it, he couldn't really blame the pilot for worrying about who would board the ship. The Normandy, both the regular and the SR-2 were packed with the latest technology from the guns to the core. If the wrong kind of person had come on board and stolen the technology, things could get really bad,  _really_ quick. Maybe Joker felt like he had a duty to wait to judge and help people that were in dire situations since last time, they had left Cai.

_She would've done the same... She would've gone out of her way to help those people._

Garrus sighed and rubbed the side of his face where the scars were that he had so honorably obtained. Back when he was informed of Cai's  _first_ death on the Normandy when it was blown up, he had made the decision to become Archangel. His goal-unspoken to anyone-was to be a sort of angel of justice, keep fighting and fighting until he died. He remembered thinking that he had nothing else to live for and had reprimanded himself every day that he didn't have the courage enough to tell her how he felt. It had always been a mixture of fear and anxiousness when he tried to map out a way to communicate his feelings without sounding like a complete idiot. He would think that he had a plan, a way to communicate but when she would wave or appear in front of him he would always give a small strangled sound cutting off his heavily practiced confession and just strangle out an awkward  _...hi._ accompanied by a wave of his own. Then, like a miracle, she had come back to him. He had gotten another chance. When he saw her again, he had another reason to live. Then the rocket had fired. Everything had moved in slow motion and he didn't even think, his body moved of its own accord to cover her's and protect her. He had just gotten her back, he wasn't going to lose her again. Not to anyone. When he had woken up and everything had begun to set in, he sat up and looked at Dr. Chakwas,  
"Is Cai okay?" He had practically yelled out of anxiousness. Chakwas was surprised by his brazen question, dropping all formalities. "I-I mean Shepard..." Chakwas had laughed at his embarrassment and nodded.

_Some women find facial scars attractive._

The sentence rang in his head like a mantra at times. He had said it to her, jokingly of course. They were best friends and a random flirt here and there was nothing out of the ordinary among close friends; opposite sex (or species) or no. Then again, Garrus would be lying if he had said it, in the faint hope that maybe she was one of those women and she did find his facial scars attractive. Even if he couldn't get Cai to like all of him, he would settle for what he could get and if scars were it, so be it. In no universe had he expected her to touch the scars that he had recently gained so tenderly as she had done. Intimately. His slate blue eyes had darted around, trying desperately to find something,  _anything_ to look at besides her. He wasn't sure what he would do if he did end up looking at her. His mandibles had flared and at that moment, he just wanted to turn tail and run hoping she would eventually forget about what he had said. Even though he didn't want to, he had looked up into her eyes; slate blue meeting a blue that was so beautiful it didn't have a name. His breathing had stopped. As cliche as it sounded, he hadn't believed in true love or soul mates or anything like that until he had met Cai Shepard. If he had known jumping in front of a rocket would've brought them together, he would've done it long before.

"What the hell is going on?" Elunaa asked, coming from a lower part of the ship. She had been crying, her green eyes red-rimmed. That was the thing about humans he had found out, it was very hard for them to hide that they had been crying since their eyes would always get red and puffy. For other species, it was easier since they didn't have the same bodily reactions to certain things, but rest assured, they had all cried. Especially him. "I rushed up here as fast as I could. There were battle sounds and sirens, and everything."

"We apprehended a distress signal and came to assist the Alpha. The passengers are currently boarding the Normandy via Jeff's request." EDI explained to the frazzled Shepard sister. Now their Commander even though she didn't want to be. "The Alpha is the ship." Why EDI felt the need to elaborate on that fact, he didn't know. The AI was weird at times. Maybe that was another of her "jokes" that she was trying so desperately to learn.

"Joker's letting someone board the Normandy?" Elunaa asked. She seemed just as confused as he had been most likely remembering the verbal beatdown that she had gotten upon her  _"welcome"_. A heavy metallic sound echoed against the Normandy. None of them jumped and continued their conversation as normal. "I suppose that sound is mag boots."

"You are correct. I sense five people boarding." EDI answered. Five? That had been more than he had thought would be on there. No wonder they had survived for such a long time, they had five minds working together instead of one or two, and that strange biotic barrier actually  _around_ the ship when they arrived; whoever had done that had to be damn powerful. Powerful biotics could be both good and bad. He was slightly nervous to find out which that biotic would be. Garrus was mulling over the things that could go wrong in his head as he was sure that all his other friends were doing. They only had a limited amount of time to do so while the automated voice sounded.

_"Decontamination in progress. Equalizing exterior pressure with interior atmosphere."_

It felt like forever waiting for the voice to end. Yet, he was hoping it would continue because they wouldn't really have time to react  _had_ something taken a turn South. Garrus frowned, nervousness sinking into the pit of his stomach.  _If_ something did go wrong and they survived a possible gun blazing ambush, they would at least have the all green to blame Joker for once. Of course, Joker would most likely just go on a rampage of how  _this_ was why he didn't just let random people inside the Normandy, so it was a coin toss. Either way, they moved to go and greet them as they came in. It could be unanimously agreed that they should greet them at the door, still wary. How would he greet them? What was a good conversation starter?  _"Are you alright?"_ No, that sounded too generic.  _"Some battle out there."_ No, he didn't want them to think that he was taunting them, they had done  _amazingly_ well for what they were against. Obviously, they weren't idiots, they had sent a distress signal after all.

Without warning, the door opened revealing five people in space suits; two were Krogan. That... hadn't been what he was expecting. No one was saying anything and the levels of awkward were rising further than he had ever seen them before. Garrus cleared his throat and one of the people in the suits had turned and looked at him; locking contact. For some reason, Garrus couldn't look away from the form. From what he could make out from the body it was a woman. It only made Garrus more depressed that he wasn't able to touch Cai again. Still, the woman said nothing nor did she let his gaze go. Was there something on his face? He touched his face, only feeling the scars. Was she curious about what those were? How they got there?

"Are any of you injured?" Liara finally broke the silence between both parties. It had felt like forever that they had all just been standing there, but it had only been realistically about twenty seconds, and even that was stretching it.  _Oh, that would've been a good question._ Garrus thought. They had just been in a huge battle where they had been at a huge disadvantage and his first thought had been  _"Are you alright?"_ At the very least they would've been traumatized. Garrus felt the sudden urge to smack his hand against his face.

"Just my head." One of them had said, taking off her helmet with a  _hss_ sound. Garrus broke the eye contact from the woman who just stared at him. Where the hell had Kasumi come from? How did she get there? Everyone seemed just as shocked as he was that their friend was right there, more how she had been on that ship and almost died.

"Y-Your head? How did you hurt it?" Liara asked, still wanting to make sure that they were alright. How very Asari of her.

"She hit it on the console like a fucking idiot!" Another helmet off. Jack?!

"It was the hit!

Ignoring Kasumi, Jack started again. "Then she crashed my fucking ship!" The Alpha was  _Jack's_? When the hell she got a ship?

"C'mon it was a shitty ship and you know it." Another helmet. Grunt. Garrus had to blink his eyes. Why the hell were all his friends together in a group. Not that it was  _weird_ for them all to be together. What was weird about the situation was that they were all on a small ship, not on Earth, and in the middle of a battle.

"... It was my shitty ship though." Jack pouted and sighed. Seeing Jack pout was... something new. It just dawned on him that the biotic barrier around the ship must have been from Jack. She was extremely powerful, so it made sense that she could do something like that.

"What is going on?" Tali asked, confused just as much as the rest of them.

"What's it look like, kid?" The other helmet came off and Wrex was there. Garrus looked at all his friends; Jack, Kasumi, Grunt, and Wrex. His eyes trained back on the woman in the middle. Who was it? It had to be one of their friends. Samara? It would make sense. Samara had an uncanny ability to just look at someone and feel their emotions, or at least resonate with it on a personal level. Or.. someone  _they_ had helped maybe? Joker let out a sigh of relief, it seemed like he was glad that all the people that had boarded were not only  _friends_ but that they were safe.

The possible 30 seconds that had elapsed since they had come on board, and so much had changed. A jovial mood overtook the bridge. Their friends were safe, Garrus knew that Jacob was back on Earth helping with relief efforts. There wasn't too soon a time to start. Again, he locked eye contact with the woman and from her body language she looked relieved; elated even. She didn't turn and look at anyone else, she was extremely focused on him.

"What the hell are you guys doing all the way out here?" Elunaa asked, smiling at her friends despite the puffiness of her eyes. At least not all had been lost. They could build up... things wouldn't really be the same, not with some gone. At least though, they could wake up day after day, looking forward to life.

"Since when were you a pilot, Kasumi?" Joker asked, raising an eyebrow and keeping his grip on the solid EDI to maintain his balance.

"She's not," Jack said deadpan before Kasumi could answer and boast herself. Jack looked back at the woman who had yet to take off her helmet. "C'mon, I'm sure its hot in there. No need to be shy."

Shy? So maybe it was someone they helped because there was no way in the worlds that Samara was shy. This helmet came off agonizingly slow for all the company. His heart stopped.  _He_ stopped. Every function felt like it had stopped; breathing, swallowing, blinking; everything. All he was focused on was the person in front of him. Her brown hair was tousled, sticking up in every direction from the helmet. There was no way. He was sure... If Cerberus wasn't destroyed, he would've bet on his life that this was another clone. It  _had_ to be.

_She smiled. At him._

This wasn't a clone. Those blue eyes were definitely her's. Her head tilted to the left when she smiled brighter. That was something that a clone couldn't grasp. Garrus saw those little lines that would appear by her eyes when she smiled brightly. He was afraid to open his mouth, or even to breathe. Terrified that he would wind up finding out the woman in front of him was another illusion summoned by his shattered mind and soul.

"C-" He had begun, but his voice caught in his throat. No matter how he looked, she didn't disappear. All the eyes around them were on the interaction. He didn't notice. He didn't notice the tears gathering in his friend's eyes. He noticed nothing but the being in front of him.

"I told you," The voice as sweet as butterscotch,  _just like he remembered_. "There's no Shepard without Vakarian." It  _was_ her.

In a second, Garrus had closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her. He didn't care about any pretenses. This wasn't the time. She was  _here_!  _Really_ here! The familiar curves were beneath his hands as he held her; so tiny and perfect in his arms. His psyche wanted to refute it, despite the proof. That perhaps everything he was trying to prove to himself, that she indeed another illusion and his mind was playing a sick, demented trick. His illusions, though, hadn't had the sensations that this moment had. This was  _no_ dream,  _no_ illusion. He could feel her body heat and in another breath, she had dropped her helmet, the  _clanking_ sound of it barely registering in his mind. His arms were around him with her head against his chest. He closed his eyes and felt his body shake with the tremors from his tears.

His legs were shaking and had finally given out from under him. He collapsed to the floor on his knees at her feet. His arms remained around her, his head able to reach where her heart was. He closed his eyes and let the beautiful sound enter his ears, his body wracked with sobs. With every beat, he felt himself being brought back further and further from the brink of insanity that he had been in.

"I love you," Garrus whispered against her chest, in front of them all, his sobs not held back at all. Her space suit was wet, but he didn't care. She was here. She was here. She. Was. Here. No matter how many times he said it to himself, it still felt like a dream. He felt movement and looked up at her eyes, hardly able to see her face in the dam of tears in his eyes. Garrus started crying again. He knew that all of their friends wanted to have some attention with Cai, but he didn't want to move. If he moved, he wouldn't hear her heart anymore. He gripped onto her tighter.

Footsteps seemed to be getting further and further away, he supposed his friends decided on having their reunion later. It would have been better to do that then try to pry the lovers apart. She leaned down and he welcomed the kiss that she had offered, tears intermingling as they kissed; every bit of love and passion could be felt in that kiss. So gentle, but intimate.

"Cai..." He finally managed to say. When he looked up, she was crying too. He had never seen her cry before, it broke his heart. He wanted to stop her tears and make her smile again. The only solace seeming to be the fact that they were happy tears. She had collapsed to her knees in front of him, her own legs giving out.

"I was so scared..." She whispered and Garrus wiped her tears away with the pads of his thumbs. 

"I won't let anything happen to you ever again. I'll protect you, Cai. I promise." He wouldn't let anything happen to her. She had protected him this whole time, now it was his turn. He would dedicate the rest of his days to keeping her safe. He needed her. It  _had_ to be her. The one that was by his side forever.

_I love you. More than anything._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reunion at long last. It was really fun to write and I just love this pairing so much I can't take it. They're so perfect together.


	9. Chapter 09

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard has to check on her friends, glad to see them all alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER NINE! AHH!
> 
> So, this is a completely new chapter. It wasn't in the original. This was originally Cai's perspective into the reunion scene, but like I stated previously, I felt like perhaps that wasn't necessary. With those combined, (I think it came out pretty decent) I could write a new chapter. 
> 
> This chapter is meant to be another bridge. (God I've got so many bridges being built I could build a jungle gym.) Like I said, this wasn't in the original. I'm not asking you to cut me any slack, I just want you all to understand WHY I chose to create another bridge.
> 
> In the original, as I said, Chapter 09 was Cai's perspective into the reunion scene. Since I took a new direction and understand where I could take this in a direction that made more sense, I felt like I couldn't continue without Cai checking in on her friends. After all, they are the reason that she keeps on trucking.
> 
> With that said, I really and GENUINELY hope that you all like this chapter as much as you liked the others. I cannot stress that enough, that my main goal is to make sure that the readers to like every chapter and end up liking the complete story.

After the Normandy had made a trip to Earth in order to pick up Samara and Jacob, everyone was sitting at the table in the mess hall. It was nice to be back with all her friends and they could really have a good time. Garrus hadn't really left Cai's side and to be honest, she didn't mind. It was nice to have his warmth against her own. For the first time in a long,  _long_ time joy and merriment filled the Normandy's mess hall. There wasn't a face in the group that didn't have a smile on it for some reason or another-including EDI who had an awkward version of a smile. She needed to work on it, it kind of looked like she was smiling for school photos with the worst clothes on imaginable. That was the reason for the current uprising of laughter among the friends. Wrex had slammed his glass against the large table and when he was able to breathe after laughing so hard, he looked at EDI

"What was  _that_ supposed to be?" He asked, his sentence still broken up by his little bits of laughter. When he thought about the sound that she had made, he started laughing more.

"Was that wrong?" EDI asked. Obviously, EDI was very smart when it came to technical things and inner workings of machines. After all, she was technically a walking and talking ship. When it came to small things like this though, certain human interactions it was as funny as a dog trying to shake off socks. Cai had seen videos of that on the extranet on MeTube when she had some downtime in her cabin.

"Well, it certainly wasn't  _right,_ " Joker told her, rubbing the small of her back. Leave it to Joker of all people to fall in love with a ship. Since he piloted the ship, Cai couldn't help but wonder, what parts he had technically touched. She shook her head, she shouldn't be thinking those sort of things. Still, it was curious though.

"The opposite of right is wrong, Jeff." EDI had instructed causing another outburst of laughter. Sarcasm and subtle insults were some things that EDI wasn't able to grasp quite yet. The seriousness of her tone didn't help matters. Joker found himself putting his face in his hand on the table, unable to look at her without laughing. "You should know that."

In a way it was kind of mean that they were having so much laughter at EDI's expense, but, on the other side of the coin, she just made it too easy. Wrex had asked for another burger. Of course, it was vat-grown since they were in space and everything, but it didn't matter now. Being in space too long, you could crazy good planet cooking. Now was the time to just relax in everyone's friendships. Initially, their laughter had come at Tali's expense. Shots of Asari alcohol were going around the table and Tali was already gone, having trouble getting the  _"emergency induction port"_ into the hole of her mask. Thankfully, Liara was a kind enough friend to hold onto the straw for her so she could drink it.

"I think issuch a nice time spendin' wif all yew." Tali slurred almost to the point where they couldn't understand her. She turned and looked at EDI. "If you practice, I'm sure that you'll have a nice smile, EDI." Tali's drunken giggles filled the table, smacking the surface with her hand, the straw still hanging from her mask's hole. Tali though didn't seem to notice, or maybe she just didn't care. Tali's laughter had turned into something akin to a drunken seal before she placed her head against the table's surface. "sucha nice table..." She trailed off, feeling the top.

"I think we can count the Quarian out for the rest of the night." Grunt smirked, seeing her tracing circles on the table while EDI continued to practice her awkward smile like she was hoping to perfect it overnight. "And maybe the AI."

"M'name iznt 'Quarian'!" Tali protested raising her head up only to have her straw-filled mask fall back on the table. " 's Tali'Zorah vas N-Normandy."

"I shall escort her back to her cabin," Samara said and stood up with Tali, taking the straw out of her mask.

"B-But Samara! I need m' emerg'ncy inducti'n port! How will I drink?!" Tali seemed at a loss for words and explanation.

"The last thing you need is more drinks. Come now, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy." Samara always had a habit of using that motherly voice accompanied with full names when she was reprimanding. Cai herself had found herself being called Cai Helena Shepard on multiple occasions which always made her scrunch her nose. She hated her middle name.

" 'night!" Tali exclaimed. "I'm glad you're back, Cai. I missed yew!"

"I bid you all goodnight," Samara said and left with a staggering Tali still crying after her straw.

James laughed and looked at Liara,  
"What do ya Asari put in this alcohol anyway?" He asked.

"I do not know, I didn't make it," Liara said and blinked.

" 'hat's right, ya didn't..." Vega seemed to be going too. Asari alcohol was some of the strongest among the many races. The fact that they collectively had pounded down almost six bottles meant for a hard day tomorrow. Cai didn't mind though, at least she would be sick with her friends, and alive. "it's so pretty..." He mused, staring at the raspberry color of the alcohol, strangely enough, it also had a blue tint to it.

"I think you need to head to bed too," Jacob said, deciding not to drink too much since he was going to have to be a good dad. He had indulged a little considering it was a celebration, but, didn't go overboard like pretty much everyone else had.

"Nah, I'm totally fine," Vega said.

"I'm over here, Vega," Jacob said, waving his hand in front of him.

"I knew that."

Jacob sighed and stood up, making Vega follow him.  
"We'll talk to you guys tomorrow." Vega didn't protest much since he seemed to be on his way to falling asleep.

About three hours later, Grunt had retreated to his cabin unable to deal with Elunaa's drunken singing any longer or Shepard's terrible attempt at dancing to it. Wrex had followed soon after, saying he "knew his limits". Jack was passed out on the table, snoring loudly and Kasumi was right there as well. EDI had left to check on the maintenance of her body and had to help Joker to his cabin due to his staggering. His bones were already brittle enough. The only ones that remained were Garrus, Cai, and Elunaa. Cai laughed at her sister for nothing in particular who laughed back because she was laughing. It was a childish thing to do, but they could afford that now.

"So," Elunaa began. "Garrus why'ya no' drinkin' s' much?" Elunaa asked, leaning her arms on the table and looking at him, trying to show that she had her full drunken attention.

"Someone's gotta be sober enough to take care of the Shepards."

"Do ya volunteer as tribute?!" Elunaa exclaimed.

"Ya been readin' them old books again?" Cai asked.

"Uh... I dunt 'member..." Elunaa said and yawned.

"Ha! You yawned first! I win!" Cai exclaimed at her sister, almost on the brink of sleep herself.

"whatcha win?"

"Uh... hadn't thought that far..." Cai admitted and furrowed her brows. "whate'er it is, I still winnit."

"Alright alright," Elunaa said and stood up, staggering. "Imma go, so y'all can have yer sexy time." Elunaa laughed, staggering her way towards her cabin.

Cai looked over at Garrus and laughed. She wasn't sure at what. Just being with him maybe.  
"Are we gonna have sexy time?" Cai asked, barely able to keep her eyes open.

Garrus blushed and looked down at her smiling and pet her hair.  
"As much as I'd like to... something tells me you won't last long after I put you to bed."

"Yes I will!" Cai protested.

Garrus chuckled to himself. He helped her up to her cabin and carried her inside and laid her on the bed. It was nice that the room had its owner in it again and now he would be able to hold her and stay in  _their_ bed with her. He got on his side of the bed and got under the covers. He looked over at her and didn't see any movement except her slow breathing.  
"Cai?" Just like he thought, out like a light. He leaned over and pulled the covers up to her shoulders, and kissed her hair. "I love you." Cai obviously didn't respond with words, but when she turned over and held onto him, that was enough of a message as anyone could ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was a rather short chapter in comparison to the ones that we've had previously and isn't exactly in the same mood as the last one that we've left off on. Either way, I hope you understand why I felt this was the necessary road to take. Not to mention after all the angst we've had for the last 8 chapters, it was nice to write something carefree and nice.
> 
> Even though this chapter didn't have much plot and was really dialogue based, I felt like it was refreshing to see them as people here instead of just soldiers and aliens.
> 
> Thank you all again for your support and have a great day/night!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was nothing like being together where it was just them in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at Chapter 10!!!!
> 
> This is also a new chapter that wasn't in the original. Three years ago, I wasn't really confident enough to upload this kind of thing, but I literally have zero fucks to give three years later. Granted, I do care what you all think because, without you guys, my stories aren't anything because we need the readers. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! :D
> 
> This is the next to last chapter. Things are going to be going in a downward motion now since we're coming to the end. For those of you that were expecting either something longer or with something more action based, I'm really sorry to disappoint you, but this was mostly just met as a multi-chaptered epilogue. If you think about it like that, perhaps you could like it. If not, it's alright.

A couple of days later after their drinking celebration, the silence was once again over the Normandy. Day by day, the inhabitants were getting used to the welcoming silence of nighttime. The crew slept more peacefully now and moreso the more days passed. The silence was one thing that wasn't on the upper floor of the Normandy though. While colleagues were sleeping or relaxing in the various break areas on the ship, Cai and Garrus were upstairs indulging in each other. Passion had taken them over that night, unable to resist any longer. To be honest, Cai was surprised that they had lasted this long. Yes, it was only a couple of days, but when you thought the love of your life was dead like Cai and Garrus had a couple of days felt like an eternity. Garrus had Cai pinned up against the fish tank in her cabin, his hand clasping her wrists together above her head. The fish were frantic, swimming away from the disturbance against their tank. The luminescent glow from the fish tank bathed Garrus in a blue light, making him look almost like an ethereal being to Cai. Sighs of pleasure pressed their way passed her lips, sounding into the air when Garrus bit at the bend of her neck, attacking all the spots that he had learned that drove her crazy over time. Just within that small amount of time, Cai was ready to strip the rest of her clothes and his and let him wreck her completely. Cai knew though, that Garrus wasn't having any of it though. His bites were still rough and demanding but came at an agonizingly slow pace. Each caress just barely touching her skin even though she could feel that he wanted nothing more. Every time she would arch into his touch, he would pull away.

_Tease._

Garrus wasn't like this all the time, but she liked when he was. In bed, she wasn't the one who gave the orders. She was the one who  _took_ them, a stark contrast to her personality out of the bedroom. Then again, their whole relationship was different outside of the bedroom. Now maybe they could act more like a couple. If they did so around their friends, she was sure the only one that would think it was cute would be Samara and then try to give Cai  _"the talk"_ like any mother would try to do. She moved her hands to try and pry them out of Garrus' vicelike grip. He didn't have any intention of letting her go, but she couldn't just let him tease her like this either. A deep chuckle came from him, little bits of breath flitting against the skin of her neck making shivers prick all along her spine. She knew what he wanted; if it meant that she would be able to have him plunge deep inside her and send her skyrocketing with pleasure, she wouldn't even hesitate not that she had ever done so before. His sharp teeth dragged their way down the skin from her jawline to her shoulder and tracing their way back to her collarbone, biting at the skin. Cai moaned half in pain and half in pleasure.

"Garrus, please..." Cai begged, fidgeting in her spot feeling the familiar pooling of heat in her lower abdomen. Every inch, fiber,  _nerve_ of her being begged for the Turian holding her captive by her wrists as if it were nothing. Cai was thankful that Garrus was a  _gentle_ giant (well maybe not right now), but by nature or he could really hurt someone. Cai tilted her head back when Garrus' hand ran up the side of her tank top, just below her breasts on her side. Cai groaned, moving against his hands again. Desperation kicked in, she just wanted to touch him. His fingers tortured her, never touching directly the places that he wanted her to, just teased along the edges. He had taken her shorts off almost when they had first gotten back in the room, the claw on his finger, just  _barely_ dipping into the band of her panties.

"Please what?" Garrus asked his mouth right by her ear. When she didn't answer, Cai felt his claws just barely touching her skin to rest on her hip bone, then to her thigh more inwardly, but again not reaching where she wanted it to. Cai bit her lip, bucking her hips against his touch. Just some form of contact besides the hand that had shackled her wrists. "Spirits, you're so sexy." A blush came up to her cheeks, and it did, in fact, reach her breasts as well a fact that Garrus found both intriguing as well as sexy.

"Touch me," Cai begged, her voice dipping from its usual tone into a needing one. Garrus seemed to think this was a wonderful thing, a guttural moan emitted from its origin in his chest. She bit her bottom lip, the sounds he made were incredibly sexy to her; one of her favorite traits of his. Garrus wasted no more time in pulling her shirt over her head, only breaking his bonds just enough to take it off her and throw it somewhere in the room (finding out in the morning that it had landed on the hamster's cage). He trailed a claw from just above the band of her panties, up past her navel, between her ribs and to the front part of her bra. He tilted his head to the side, noticing the clasp in the front. Cai blushed, seeing the look in his eyes.

"You wear this just for me?" Garrus asked, his voice husky. Cai knew that when his voice had dipped that low in the octave, he was barely holding back.  Embarrassed, Cai nodded. She figured it would be easier. Smirking, Garrus didn't seem to care that he had easy access. His taloned finger cut through the fabric between her breasts and ripped it apart from her body all in one fell swoop, Cai couldn't help but moan, watch with a lustful look in her eyes as he did the same to the back and straps, effectively cutting the bra off her body with one finger.

Cai was shocked when he suddenly let go of her wrists. Before he realized what he had done, she kissed him, pulling up his shirt and tossing it towards the door and helping him out of his pants. Each move was now desperate, clinging, touching, scratching. Cai yelped at the sudden loss of the ground underneath her feet. Garrus had picked her up by the back of her thighs and tossed her onto the bed, following her. She fisted the sheets feeling Garrus press a knee between her legs at her center, relishing in the moans and gasps that she'd let out. Enamored, he put more pressure effectively driving her to the point of complete desperation. The once small spot of wetness in her panties had grown to the point where they were soaking without a dry spot.  
"Oh god..." She moaned her breathing now in rasps.

He leaned down and kissed her, Cai had welcomed the passion, touching his scars. His knee was replaced with his own hips, grinding against her's. When she followed suit, both of their breaths were more rasping, unable to catch their breath. He trailed his kiss down from her lips to her neck, moving to the valley between her breasts. Cai's arms couldn't hold onto him anymore. His ministrations had made her weak and he continued to kiss his way down her body, past her navel. He glanced up at her and Cai made eye contact her face flush from passion and embarrassment. He took the band of her panties and dragged them off of her body with his teeth, eventually ripping them as well with his desperation reaching the surface.

"I can't wait anymore," Cai begged, touching his chest. Garrus pulled her up to him. Cai eagerly straddled him, lowering herself onto him. She didn't even give herself time to adjust, just taking him fully from the beginning. She almost lost it right there. Before being with Garrus, she hadn't known the feeling of being filled up. Now that she had, it was an addiction. She rested her wrists on his shoulders, lacing her fingers together behind his neck. Shivering, she began to move no true rhythm to her movements. Moaning, she moved faster onto him grinding her hips against him as she did so. Soon, she felt Garrus bucking into her as well, knocking against  _that_ spot deep inside her that he had only ever been able to reach. She closed her eyes and her moans became crossed with her gasps for air. Every thrust he made into her hit that spot. Her head had tilted back, her eyes rolling towards the back of her head. Between his thrusts, his bites on her neck, and his thumbs massaging her hips when he assisted in her movements, making her move faster Cai knew that she wasn't going to last long. The slapping of connecting bodies was the only other sound heard besides their breathing.

All too soon, Cai felt the buildup of her climax reached its peak. Her movements became even more erratic. Her head laid on his shoulder, grinding as she rode him.  
"Garrus... I...." She couldn't even finish her sentence. Garrus understood and switched their positions so he was over her. He held her hips in place, giving him the perfect angle to pound into her every thrust harder than the last, hitting her sweet spot. "I..." He could hear in her voice that she was close. Cai felt herself grip onto the sheets, her inner self falling off a cliff and into pleasure. She closed her eyes and her body arched, it only increased when she felt Garrus release deep inside of her, her body squeezing every last bit out of him that it could. She screamed out, not caring who heard. Granted, whoever did was probably going to be traumatized, but that wasn't her problem.

Slowly, and with her body twitching, she came down from her high along with her lover. He pulled out of her slowly, a loud groan coming from both of them. He stayed above her for a few moments before kissing her.  
"I love you." He told her. She was so beautiful, basking in the aftermath of their sex pleasure glinting off her hazy eyes. He smiled when her eyes got half-lidded.

Cai barely registered Garrus collapsing next to her and taking her in his arms, kissing the top of her head. Sweaty bodies against each other, blankets atop them to keep them covered and warm throughout the night, the pair fell asleep in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope that you enjoyed it! Like always, leave all the good stuff if you want. The last chapter will be coming up soon and then we'll be done! Alrighty! Until next time!
> 
> Also, it's like 3 AM, so I wanted to apologize if this chapter moved either too fast or too slow.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He knew he couldn't live without her by his side. Now he had something else to live for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO, BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES! GUYS AND GIRLS! 
> 
> I'm going to miss this fic since I always love writing Shepard and Garrus (even if I never really post it). Thank you to all of you that have given me kudos, commented, and even read it. I really appreciate it that you've made it this far. Special thanks to valeria1314151611 for her comments brightening my day.
> 
> This last chapter will answer Becky's questions from the first chapter. I think it's a wonderful thing to have a complete story and even though my writing isn't holy gospel (like some writers I really admire), I enjoy being able to come back and read a complete fic no matter who wrote it since I always have the fear that the author will have abandoned a fic if it's still in progress.
> 
> So rest assured nice people, if you continue to read my work, I won't abandon a fic. It may take me some time in order to complete it, but I won't abandon it since some people may like it.
> 
> I got kinda sidetracked there. ANYWHORE. Enjoy~

Garrus shielded his eyes against the sun's rays. His eyes trailed over the horizon, watching the sunlight glistening off of the ocean. They had always said that they wanted to retire somewhere warm, by the beach. The sound of the waves had become calming to him, gently running up and down the coastline. That isn't to say that he went out and swam in the water. He was a bad swimmer as most Turians were. His version of "swimming" entailed a great amount of panicking on his side, flailing, and the occasional drowning. To avoid that, he would just sit at the edge of the coastline and let the water rush over his legs. That was enough for him. Every now and again, if the water was lucky enough and if he was feeling bold enough, he would end up venturing a little deeper into the water, never staying anywhere else but in the shallow parts of the ocean. This beach home was the greatest investment he had ever made. He could sit in his beach chair and feel the salty air against his plating. Looking in the shallow parts of the water, hearing voices, he smiled. The only time he would ever venture into the water would be for  _them_.

He watched them in the water. Cai was kneeling in the water, the wet sand beneath her knees. Garrus knew she was blocking the deeper parts of the ocean. She was playing with some toys that they had gotten from the store. A squeal came from next to her and splashing. Little hands splashed in the water with the toy. Their little girl always got excited easily. Being two years old may have something to do with it too. Just as Garrus had thought, a human-turian baby was one of the most beautiful beings he had ever seen or maybe he just thought like that because it was  _their_ little girl. She had long brown hair similar now to her mother's length, had Cai's deep blue eyes which he melted at every time he looked at. Now he had two women in his life that had a complete hold on him. Her form was mostly human besides the hip bones, small claws at the end of her human-like fingers, and a small bit of cowl on her head which he knew would grow more with age, his facial markings, and Turian plating. Her plating was smooth, like a human's skin and was Cai's tone, she didn't have the flaring mandibles like he did, nor the sharp teeth. The shape of her eyes was also human, and she had lips. It amazed him that they could create something so beautiful and so perfect. Raising her had been rather difficult in terms of clothes, having to get some of them specially made. He was sure as she grew there would be more of a selection.

Garrus watched her splashing in the water, a bright smile on her face. Cai was making sure she didn't fall over, once before she had and had cried for hours. It had made his heart break. She hadn't really gotten hurt, but she had been really scared since she was barely one at the time. She was hopping in the water continuing to splash with the little ship toy that Joker had gotten her, a toy of the Normandy. Their child was spoiled beyond all belief. Every time their friends visited, Ania would receive so many presents it was like Christmas... four times a year. They had to have another room separate for just her toys. Even though Garrus had asked multiple times to calming it down a little, they had all waved him off.  _They_ weren't the ones that had to step on building blocks all the time. For a children's toy, those things hurt. Bad.

Her mind could switch gears at the drop of a hat and all of a sudden Garrus noticed Ania had turned and ran or well, maybe "bobbed" was a better word? It was more of a cross between a hop and a run. She laughed and went over to Garrus and grabbed his hand with all five of her fingers, but her hands were so small, the could only hold onto one of his fingers.

"Daddy! Daddy! Build a sandcastle with me!" Ania asked, pulling on his finger. One of her favorite past times had been playing in the sand and building sandcastles. Looking into her deep blue eyes, deeper than the ocean itself who was he to say no? She must have seen that Garrus had agreed because she took her bucket and shovel which they kept in her outside toy box. Lugging all the toys from upstairs had gotten to be a pain after a while. When she came back, she had planted herself firmly on the ground and looked at him to do the same. Slowly, Garrus had lowered himself to the sand as well. He felt like he was getting old, maybe the domestic life had taken a bit of a toll on his bones, or maybe  _because_ he was living a domestic life, he had felt all the wounds and difficulties of years of battle sinking into his bones.

The water had risen a little and he had stopped the building of the castle in order to glare at the water as if willing it to go away. He heard a huff and turned and saw that Ania had  _that_ face on. He had been on the receiving end of his daughter's lectures many times. She was hard-headed and a fireball, just like her mother. The lectures could be from anything to not paying attention, which he was sure this one was going to be, to not giving her enough of her snacks. Even though Ania did lecture him a lot, he wouldn't change anything about her.

"Mommy said it's not nice to not do something that you promised that you would." Ania lectured and pouted, patting the sandcastle with the back of her shovel. He was wrapped around her finger and he knew it, Cai knew it, all their friends knew it. Garrus could only nod her head with her oncoming lecture, apologizing. When it seemed that she was sated enough, he would apologize again and continue to build the castle. All the while, he could see Cai out of the corner of his eyes, laughing. She was covering her mouth with her hand, the glint of her wedding band shining against the sunlight. Another serene smile overtook his face. He had been so nervous to ask her to marry him, and even more so when the ceremony had actually taken place.

Their wedding had been small and intimate, just their closest friends. His hands were sweaty and he continuously had wiped them on the pants of his tuxedo, breathing in and out forcing a rhythm. Even though Joker had assured him more times than he could count, it hadn't really helped him. Every single worry had left him when he saw her in that dress. White, lacy, and beautiful. Her hair had been done in a simple bun with jewels in it. He was sure that he was going to end up passing out on the spot because he had stopped breathing. Then it had been all about them, holding hands, exchanging vows, rings, and kissing her. When they were all gathered together for the small reception they had held, Cai had dropped the bomb on all of them that she was pregnant. Garrus had choked on his wine, that explained why she hadn't been drinking recently. He was oblivious so of course, he wouldn't notice. All their friends had begun to ask her questions about the baby; how far along, were they worried about what it would look like, was it a boy or girl, and so on.

"Daddy!" The little voice made his eyes go to his daughter.  _Uh oh._ "Mommy is pretty, but you can look later! You said you would build the castle with me." Garrus nodded and within minutes, their castle didn't look like a lump of sand anymore, but it didn't look like a castle either. He heard Cai's voice next to them and they both turned and looked at her.

"Oh, that's a wonderful castle." She complimented.

"Yeah, cause me and Daddy made it!"

The familiar sound of an incoming ship made them all turn and look up. The Normandy. Garrus put his hand against his forehead. He could already feel all the toys he'd be stepping on. The Normandy landed behind their home. Garrus was thankful for this house for another reason, they could just drop by and visit like that and Ania wouldn't run across bridges or anything to try and get to them. He watched the little girl drop her shovel and scream happily, running towards the ship where she knew her aunts and uncles, and gifts awaited her. Garrus looked at his wife who sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh boy..." Garrus commented.

"It can't be  _that_ bad."

"Do you know how many of those building block things I've stepped on?" Garrus asked as they both made their way to the front where the Normandy was waiting and their friends were already starting to get off the ship. Per usual, they all had gifts in their hand. Yeah, gifts. Plural. Garrus wished that if they were going to bring gifts that they would each stick to one, but no. He couldn't be that lucky. The presents ranged anywhere from two to ten each person. Even though he hated having to pick up all the toys and the wrapping paper after she threw it on the floor, it still made Ania happy and he wouldn't trade that for anything.

"Hey hey!" Joker called, waving at Garrus and Shepard.

"Oh my God, you're too precious!" Elunaa had said looking at the little girl. "You're growing up so fast!"

"It is a very cute child, yes. Shepard and Garrus' genes mixed very well." EDI had commented. Her complements were getting better. She could even smile now without looking weird.

"Uncle Wrex when are you gonna bring Mordin with you so we can play again?" Ania whined and pouted. As if to answer her question the little, well little for a Krogan peeked out from behind Wrex and waved at Ania. Mordin was a shy boy, odd considering Eve nor Wrex ever had  _shy_ in their vocabulary. He and Ania got along well and the boy was just as spoiled as Ania was. After all, Krogan children were extremely rare so it was understandable when Wrex worried over the boy. Still, a doting Wrex was something that was strange. Ania screamed from joy and ran over to him and hugged him tightly. Mordin's eyes went wide when she hugged him. Ania always the one to stand up to people for him and had once told Wrex to "leave him alone, Meanie!" when he was lecturing Mordin. Wrex had laughed and looked at Garrus and Cai and then at the kid.

"She's got some quads too."

"Mommy, what are quads?"

Cai's face had turned red at their daughter's question. She looked over to Wrex who had just let out a loud laugh. Her question wasn't answered. Obviously.

Garrus smiled, watching Mordin and Ania talking. Ania was boisterously using her hands as she talked, making explosion sounds and Mordin was nodding, shyly answering her. His wife, his child, and all his friends that were his family. This was his life now, and he wouldn't trade it for anything else in the galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it beauties and gentlebeauties. "This War Is Ours" was very fun to write, even a second time revising, editing, and adding more things. This fic will always have a special in my heart considering it was the first I had ever uploaded. Even though I will be continuing with different fandoms from here on, I hope that you can enjoy those either. If anyone of you has a fandom to recommend I join or a story you'd like written, I might end up doing that too since I live for the people. XD
> 
> Thank you so much, everyone.
> 
> P.S. I inadvertently made myself ship Ania and little baby Mordin. Why me? Why?

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! Have a great day/night!


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